Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Living the Life



I was not alive 50 years ago and I am sure living the gay life then was very private and secluded, especially if you were a gay couple. Today society is a wee bit more acceptable, and in the 5 1/2 years that DJ and I have been together we have never had to deal with any bigotry or homophobia. But then again we are not into PDA, and when we are in public, people probably don't even realize that we are a gay couple. (yes, they can tell that I'm gay, but DJ is a little more butch). Society has a long way to go, but I'm glad that I am living the life I want into today's society rather than 25, or 50 years ago.

One of the other things about living this life is that most people (including other gay couples) think that living the life of a gay couple is different than that of heterosexual couples. I hear guys all the time saying things about how they are not happy, or that their relationship was not what they expected. Relationships regardless of the gender of the partners is not all that different. Many gay couple (or at least in my opinion) think that once you come out, and find that guy you want to spend the rest of your life with, that everything will be roses, and you will always be happy. Life is life, regardless of who is living it, and from my own experience, my relationship I had for 15 years with my wife is not much different than that I have with DJ. Well except for the fact that we are both men...

But what I am saying is that it takes WORK. Relationships work because we make it work. Yeah, love is wonderful, and finding the one you really love makes it somewhat easier, but it still is work. It's not a party. Some gay couples think they have to go out every night, and party with the boys and have dinner parties, take cruises and all those other things. Those things are great, and I wish I had more money to do some of those things, but it is not those things that make a relationship. There are times that I would prefer just sitting home watching a great movie with DJ there with me.

Yes, there have been arguments and disagreements, and we make allowances for one another. It hasn't and isn't always a bed of roses. But it works. Because we work at it. We communicate and share and the bottom line is that we respect one another. But we are living the life, the one we want, and the one that makes us happy. No expectations, just going to work every day, paying the bills, enjoying one another and one another's family and friends, with the occasional night out, and yearly vacations. It's not always going to be pride rainbows and balloons, club hopping, and extravagant trips to exotic locations, but it's life. We are living it.

I love it that way!

And yeah, It helps that the sex is really great too...

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