Tuesday, August 29, 2006
I can sit back and regret my decisions that I made as a young man just out of High School or I can get off my ass and start being a little more aggressive. Plus feeling sorry for myself is really non-productive. I mean I caused this situation I am in. What sane man in his right mind would walk away from a 28k a year job with nothing to fall back on?
On another note, my grand babies are getting so big already. Justice weighs over 11 pounds and Alana is well on her way to the same. Both parents are doing well, and everyone seems happy. I should be happy for them, and I am. My youngest boys started off the new school year with a positive outlook and they both are actually looking forward to their school year. That's a first! By the way check out my Flickr page, there is a link on the left hand side of this site, just click on it and it wil take you to my photos of the grandkids.
So as I look at my situation, I should realize that I'm doing pretty good. I am blessed with four great kids, two wonderful grandchildren, a great partner that is the most patient loving man I could imagine and a handful of friends and family that are looking out for us.
Who am I to complain anyway!
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Three interviews, three rejections. I never knew trying to find employment would be so difficult. Why did I quit my job? I was being paid very well, and did very little. I know I had to deal with the bitch from hell and her psycho son everyday, but at least I had a job!
What is worse is we have received word from the Unemployment Office that DJ's unemployment will run out in two weeks. That mean no income coming into our home, at all!
At this point I don't know what we are going to do. I guess just keep looking and hoping that those rejections turn into acceptance. This is worse than it was when I was looking for a boyfriend! At least then I was able to go to the bar and order a drink to help alleviate the pain of rejection.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Well it's not someone with a drug problem that worries me, nor do they have a drinking problem. Hell for that matter they are healthier than I am, except for one small detail. They keep forgetting. Not just forgetting where she laid her keys or misplaced her purse, but conversations, phone calls, bill paying. My mother it seems is getting worse by the week, and she doesn't seem to think she has a problem. Her short term memory is fading quickly. Now you ask her something that happened 25, 30 or even 50 years ago and she can give you intimate details. But she can not remember a phone conversation she had five minutes ago. And her moods change drastically, in a second. Then she gets upset because of her actions.
Finally my brothers agree with what I have been saying for over a year, and now so does Dad. I am not a doctor, but I believe she has the first stages of Alzheimer's. Her mother had it, and also her great grandmother. So Dad said something to the doctor, (as they have the same family medical doctor), about how she has been and the things she has been doing. Hopefully we did something soon enough. I know that there is no cure, but medicines have improved since my grandmother was diagnosed in the late 80's.
What hurts the most is that mother doesn't understand why we are doing this. She doesn't think it is necessary. But if it isn't Alzheimer's then something is wrong and it's not just an age thing. She gets upset and almost angry if we mention it to her. I have told her several times to mention these things to the doctor and she just ignores me and blows it off. Mother is a very intelligent woman, she knows how this disease works, and therein lies the problem. She seen her mother succumb to the effects of this disease.
No it is not fair, and it is heart wrenching to even think about, but the reality of it is...It's all part of this thing we call life. The good with the bad. Mother can get mad at all of us if she wants. But intervene we did. And it is intervention, not "butting our noses" where we don't belong.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Speaking of Vampires though, I have always been a vampire enthusiast. Not to the point where I really believe that there are real vampires out there as the fokelore states. Yes, I do believe that there are probably people out there that "think" they are vampires but not like Bela Lugosi's Count Dracula.
Think about it though, being a vampire would be, as they say, awesome. You live forever, an immortal. Yes, you have to do that by killing others and drinking their blood, but as Anne Rice's Vampires do, you could kill only the "evil doer". Live hundreds of years, never aging or becoming sick. Forever young. Well if you were lucky enough to be turned at a young age, that is. Not sure if I would want to be changed at my current age. Now maybe about 8 or 9 years ago, yeah. I was younger, less wrinkles and fat. Could you imagine it though. Living forever. But not like the vampires of old, you know the killing, murdering, blood sucking vampires we mostly think about and learnt about. I want to be the vampire with a soul, like Angel from Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Lestat, from the Anne Rice novels.
As I used to think about it, I would be lost in the magic of it, but in reality it would be horrible. Living forever that is. Everyone you know and love (your family, children, friends) would all die and you would have to watch it. Not only that but after a while when you look younger than your own grandchildren you would have to go into hiding or disappear and fake your own death. If not people would know you were an immortal. So ultimately as Anne Rice's hero, Lestat, you would be alone. Completely alone. No thanks, I couldn't bare eternity alone.
So for now I'll just read the books and play the SIMS2 and be happy with my own mortality.
By the way, you like the new look? I finally found a blog template that I really like. It's me. I've always got my head in the clouds and a cop of coffee is always close by.
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Things are going pretty slow around here, especially on the job front. I've had three interviews and had my second interview with a potential employer on Tuesday. At first I was a little intimidated with this company. It's a bank, and I have never really worked in finance, and I'm not real good with numbers. But after my second interview on Tuesday I felt much more comfortable, and I really hope they call me. It pays well and there is great potential for better opportunities. The banking world seems to be a totally different world than what I am used to, and I think I'm up for the challenge.
The ear infection continues to linger. For several nights I was unable to sleep due to the pain, but finally it seems to be subsiding and my precious sleep is not being interrupted as often. I also purchased some ear plugs, so I can also return to the pool. I just have to get the energy to do so. I'm not sure if it is a lack of energy or just a lack of wanting to do anything. I've become almost a recluse, going out only when I have to. I sit inside and read, play on the computer and look for work. My depression is getting the best of me, so I hope for a job soon. If not DC is going to be throwing me out to the wolves, as I know my moods are driving him mad.
Spent the evening with Princess tonight and my new grand-daughter. She is so precious. Her skin is flawless, so pure and almost porcelain like. And her eyes! They are just beautiful. It's hard to believe she will be a week old tomorrow.
Well that's it for now. Hopefully the call will come tomorrow about the job. Keep your fingers crossed!
Friday, August 11, 2006
They named her months ago, Alana Mae, and she was born today August 11th at 8:11 p.m. and weighed in at 6lbs. 4ozs. and was 19 inches long.
Both mommy and baby are doing great, and will be home by Sunday. She has strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes. She looks a lot like her daddy (unfortunately) but she still has a lot of her mommy's features. Like dimples and her eyes.
As you can see I'm a little excited in this picture!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
This is also the third night in a row, I've had little or no sleep thanks to the alien that is growing in my left ear. I'm eating advil for the pain, and DJ did go and get me some drops last night. They seemed to have helped a bit, but now the entire canal is swollen, so it's hard for the drops to penetrate to the infection.
So off to the interview, I hope this guy has a loud voice, otherwise I will not be able to hear the interview questions.
Monday, August 07, 2006
Please, come again some other day!
For the last two days I have been living, no suffering immensely, with an earache. There a two types of pain that I prefer to never have. One of those is a toothache and the other is an earache. I know what has caused this pain, which has caused lack of sleep, lack of any type of comfortable position, and lack of any sex what so ever.
Swimming. Yes I went swimming three times last week and I now have swimmer's ear. I've tried everything, but no end in sight. And of course I have no $$ so I can not go to the pharmacy which is only about three blocks from house and purchase some ear drops. So it's advil and warm compresses for me until this thing empties out all the bacterial infected water I have floating in my ear.
Sunday, August 06, 2006
My mother's parents had six children. My mother being the oldest of five daughters, and one brother. Over the years those six children have grown to a total of over 84 children, grandchildren, spouses, and great grandchildren; give or take three or four. But yesterday there were only about 30 in attendance. Not really even half. Only two of my mother's siblings attended.
It also marked the first time that DJ was invited to my brother's house for any type of family function. Which was a big step. More for him than for us, and I greatly appreciated his "acceptance" Not that he has accepted my "lifestyle" as he refers to it, but that he has at least accepted the fact that DJ is a part of my life. Isn't that what the word Get-Together means? We don't have to agree but we should be able to still get together and cherish the time we have together.
Again, it was good to see family members that I had not seen in a while, and to see how their children have grown. One thing is for certain, family is one of the greatest gifts we have, and as the family gets bigger and bigger in many ways, as my Aunt Shirley stated so well yesterday, it also gets much smaller.
Friday, August 04, 2006
Maybe I should put more stock in the interview process, but I never really have. I will either get the job or I won't. Most of the time the interview process is a personality test anyway. The questions I was asked today were not that much different then any other interview questions I have received in the past. Such as; What is your ideal work environment? What do you feel is your strongest asset? The same questions, with the same answers.
Hopefully I will hear something soon, and if it is meant for me to work there, then fine, if not I will continue to look and go on even more interviews.
By the way, what is YOUR strongest asset?
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Spent the day at the pool today. Yes, I know that 98 degree weather is not the best day to work on your tan, but it was so hot I had to find some relief so DJ and I went and spent the entire afternoon in the pool. I now look like a lobster, but it will pass and I will be darker in a few days, but for now I'm just RED. Not to mention that within a few years I will probably get skin cancer as I did not use any lotion. I know, dumb dumb me.