Thursday, April 27, 2006

Insomnia


I never realized the inability to sleep was so life altering. I mean I've heard the word, and knew what it meant but never having the problem, I had no idea what it really was all about. Personally I don't recommend it.

All my life I have been one that loves to sleep in. You know those Saturday mornings when most kids get up early to watch the Saturday morning cartoons? (Back in the day when they had Saturday morning cartoons) Well that wasn't me. I would stay in bed as long as possible or until my mother would yell at me with..."Michael are you going to sleep your life away? Get up!"

In the first few years of my marriage (to my now ex wife) I worked 2nd shift. I would go to work at three p.m. come home at midnight go to bed and sleep until almost 1:30 in the afternoon. It may have been the fact that I was a gay man trying to live a straight life so I just preferred to sleep and not deal with it, but for what ever the reason, I was a sleeper.

Not any more.

It all started about 6 months ago. I started staying up late, and soon it became a habit. DJ would go to bed and I would get on the computer and plays SIMS or post on my blog. Then I would read all of your blogs and suddenly it was 3 or 4 in the morning. Then I seen the error of my ways, as I was always bitchy and had headaches, so I limited my computer time and started going to bed before midnight. Instead of falling to sleep I would lay there in bed looking at...Well nothing because it was dark. I'd get up, watch TV, get on the computer and again finally go to bed at 3 or 4 am. Even on my day off when I could sleep in, I'd be up at 5 or 6.

Finally I discussed this with my doctor and he suggested that I take medication, which I refused, as I don't like taking prescription medication. (a long story for another post) So instead I opted to get something less medicated and get an over-the-counter sleep aid. Nada, nothing. So then I tried Tylenol PM at my mother's suggestion. She has suffered from insomnia for quite a while, and she started taking it with great results. Well that worked. I'd go to bed at around 10 pm, fall asleep and sleep like a log. No waking up in the middle of the night, no sitting up until 3 or 4 am. But the problem was that I wouldn't wake when the alarm would go off. It would buzz and buzz and I'd sleep right through it. Making me late for work, and making my entire day just miserable. So... Instead of the recommended dosage of two pills before bed, I went to one. Same effect. Sleep right through the alarm and still feel like shit all day. Groggy and lifeless.

My sleep debt was piling up. My body was suffering from the effects, as well as my relationship with the one I love and adore. Not to mention my job. So finally something worked. I broke the Tylenol PM in half. That's right a half a pill and so far...Knock on wood, it's working.

I know they say that as you get older the less sleep you need. And maybe it's the fact that I slept so much in my earlier days, that I don't sleep now. Or it is as the doctor said and my MS is causing me to have this problem. Whatever it is, I wish it would go away. So far the half pill is working and I hope it continues because I love my bed and "blankies", all those pillows and cuddling up to DJ as we fall asleep. Not to mention the dreams.

Oh dear look at the time, I have to get to bed.

No comments: