Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Guilt Trips

I'm doing it to myself.
Making myself feel guilty.
But I deserve it.
I do.
Yesterday was Valentine's Day. The day to show the one you love just how much you love them.

Well, that's where the guilt comes in. I mean we decided to not buy each other gifts as we just purchased a new car, so money is tight. But last night it was the same routine. We had dinner (at home, Taco Bell actually) and sat and watched a couple episodes of BTVS Season 5. We chatted about our days, ate our dinner and then my daughter called.

More guilt trips.

It seems as though Princess is having some financial problems. Again. She is working and so is her boyfriend, but things are just piling up between paychecks. She asked to borrow some money. We just don't have it. I didn't lie to her, but now I feel guilty.

So during the phone call DJ went to work on our other car that has stopped running. I went and helped a little, after I let my daughter down, but then after he left to go to Auto Zone, I went to the computer.

Guilt, guilt, guilt.

He soon went to bed and fell asleep. I came to bed around 12:30. But he was already visiting the dream fairy so I didn't wake him.

Now today I've awaken to the realization that I was insensitive and uncompassionate.
Not to mention a bad daddy.
At least I did tell him how much I loved him.
I told Princess that I loved her too.

It doesn't matter, the damage is done. I will just be guilt ridden for the remainder of the day.
I deserve it.

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