In exactly 29 days I will be 45 years old. Now age has never really been an issue for me. I always say, "You are as young as you feel and I still feel like I'm 25"
Well not anymore. There are days I feel like 65, and Lord knows I probably look it some days as well. I've been looking over my past few years and think, What the fuck have I done with my life? I have lately become a recluse, and have alienated most of my friends, due to not calling them or making plans to hang out with them, and I really don't even know why? Other than the fact that I am emotionally and physically drained at the end of the day and just want to go home and vegetate. I'm in a great relationship with DJ, and have a great relationship with my kids and family. So why am I in this funk?
Well I hate my job (see yesterday's post), and that seems to bring me down on a daily basis. And it being with DJ's grandparents I hate to say anything about it, but I do, but that don't help. Secondly I'm disappointed in my home. Where we live. At first it seemed like a nice neighborhood, quiet and peaceful with a nice landlord. Well the landlord sold the home to a noisy busy body woman who is only concerned about the cosmetics of the house (flowers, painting etc..) and not concerned that our fridge doesn't work most of the time, that our air conditioner does not work at all and now the garage door is on the fritz. Not to mention the increase in crime around our once quiet neighborhood. So here we are again looking to move with really no idea where or when or even how.
I like that Tim McGraw song that says "Remember when?" Can't we go back to the good old days?
I know you are saying, those are not big issues, get over yourself. I know I should but I just can not seem to get out of this funk I've been in. Turning 45 should be a celebration of life and accomplishments. I need to do as my friend Silver has done and accenuate the positives. So anyone out there able to tell me how to maintain a level of insanity and do that?