1. Just how does Santa get his fat ass down that chimney?
2. Do Atheists celebrate Christmas?
3. Why do we celebrate Christmas in December?
4. How does Santa get all those damn toys in that little bitty bag?
5. And what about going worldwide giving gifts in one night?
6. When you don't get what you want for Christmas, does Santa have a return policy?
7. Wouldn't it be better to leave Santa peanut butter and celery sticks instead of cookies and milk, I mean he is a little overweight...
8. Speaking of weight, just how do eight reindeer pull his fat ass on that sled full of gifts?
9. Remember those Norelco commercials at Christmas? Why? Santa has a full beard, why would he be a spokesperson for electric shavers?
10. If Christ was born on Christmas, wouldn't it have been cold out in the barn where he was born in the manger?
11. Who created egg nog? And why is it only on sale during the Christmas season?
12. If you stay up all night Christmas Eve, will you still get gifts under the tree?
13. If you buy the gifts in the twelve days of Christmas, just how much money would you have to spend?