Family & Traditions

Yesterday was good. Family, food and tradition. DJ and I got up and got ready and then went our seperate ways to our prospective families. He first to his paternal grandparents. Me to my parents. What started as my two brothers and I have now blossomed into a family of 16. Yesterday a new future was present. My son brought the young girl that he has been seeing, and announced that they plan to marry. Nothing official, but it sounds like the next generation is on it's way. My oldest son, J1 is 23 and "Mandy" is 18 and will graduate in June. Young, yes, so anything can happen, but it is really weird to see my son in love. He is in the process of buying his first home, so I do think he is serious.

I brought a couple of movies to watch instead of the usual football that my brothers insist on watching. Sadly, The Stepford Wives was lost on my family. They didn't get any of the jokes, and thought the movie was nonsense. So much for trying to educate them socially. But no Cheaper By the Dozen went over much better. After leaving my parents we stopped by DJ's maternal granparents for dessert. It is a wonderful feeling to be able to go into his family members homes and be treated like one of the family. Not only myself, but also they treat my kids the same way. Maybe someday DJ can feel that comfortable with my family.

Tonight, we are going to my younger brothers to watch Harry Potter on his 52 inch Stereo TV, so maybe we can start a new tradition that includes DJ.

Giving Thanks

Some days it seems all we ("we" being me) do is sit around and feel sorry for ourselves and think about how bad we have things. Today is the day that we seem to do the opposite. It's 5 am here and I am unable to sleep, so I caught up reading all the blogs I have listed on my favorites. It had been quite a few days since I read them. After reading my blogs (I call all of you my blogs as I try to read you daily and they become personal to me) I am even more thankful for what I do have, and the blessings that I have been given. Particularly in light of the recent events of one blogger I started reading about four months ago, HOLDING THE MAN.

"Sebastian", who writes Holding the Man blog lives in Darwin in the far north of Australia and has had trouble on and off with some anti-gays who've been harrasing him. He was purposely run down by a car and is in very serious condition in the hospital, originally in a coma that he fortunately seems to becoming out of after two days. There's a lot of lower body damage in terms of broken bones. He also has had some severe kidney damage as well. The police are on the case and making progress, having located the stolen car used in this heinous crime. Please keep Sebastian in your prayers and thoughts. You can send e-mails via his blog.

Then I understand that 20/20 had a special show last night with the convicted killers of Matthew Shepard, trying to convince the American public that it was not a gay hate crime! Okay whatever, they had their day in court and their story was disproven then. What is the purpose of airing this now? A) With the Bush Administration being so anti-gay they assume this would benefit them in some way? B) Very possibly this could also benefit them in their current prison position? Who knows why? But I do know that they have clearly broken the law again,as part of their sentence was that they were not to be allowed to "cash in" on their crime. I am sure that they or their attorneys we well paid for this disgusting interview. And when did the American public start accepting interviewing convicted killers as newsworthy? Before we know it these guys along with Scott Peterson will be having talk shows!! THEY ARE KILLERS for goodness sake! Why are they treated like celebrities and paraded across our TV screens in interviews giving their stories???!

In light of all of this I am so thankful that I am currently safe and live in a neighborhood (where as far as I know) my sexuality is not a threat to anyone to the point that they need to retaliate. I am also thankful for some of the advances that our community continues to make that support our equality, as small as it may seem at times. I am also thankful that both DJ and I have families that love us and support us and our realtionship, even if it sometimes is also in very small steps.

Choices

Some of you that have been readers of my blog from the old site know about my daughter Princess and her escapades and adventures with her fiance "The Asshole". She left him back in May when she found out he was seeing someone else. So with my help she moved back home with her mother. Things went well for awhile but regardless of what he had done to her she still loved him. So a few weeks ago she moved back in with him, against our advice (everyone's advice) Since then I haven't heard from her. So today she finally called me. She thought I was mad at her for going back with him. As I explained to her, she has to make her own choices and decisions. No, I was not happy about this choice, but it's her life and she has to live it for herself, and you can't help who you fall in love with, that is really something that you don't choose, it just happens.

Apparently this guy makes her happy, and she loves him, so she forgave him and took him back. That's her choice. I may not like it, but I will support her in her choice and I will accept him as her partner. It may be a little uncomfotable at first, as he did treat my daughter pretty shitty, but for her I will accept her choice. She has accepted my choices in life and loves me just the same. And Lord knows some of my choices have not been the best. I just wish other family members would realize that life is too important for being judgmental and hard hearted. Especially when it comes to what others choose to do. We need to accept that life isn't always what we had hoped it would be, for ourselves, or for our children; and realize that what is important is that we have them. And we have them with all their mistakes, blemishes and bad habits along with all the great and wonderful things they are and do. I want my daughter in my life and in order for that to happen I need to let her know I love her unconditionally. So Princess, live and learn and remember that Daddy will always be there to help pick up the pieces if things do not go they way you had hoped, and if they do go well, I will be there to share that joy as well.

Answered Prayers

I used to be a big news watcher. Every night from 4:00 p.m. for the local news until 7:00 when Wheel of Fortune came on. I always watched CBS. The other broadcasts just didn't seem to be as "trustworthy". Well that all stopped about 10 years ago. Watching CBS that is. I still watch the news occasionally. But today gave me reason to go back to watching the news. When I heard that Dan Rather was retiring, I was estatic. This man is one of the most biased news anchors to hit the airways. They are supposed to be bipartisan, well not Dan. Especially since George has been in the White House. Maybe it was due to the fact that he is also a native Texan. So come March, I may start watching CBS news again. Who knows. All I know is this was a long time coming. Goodbye Dan.

Came across SORRY EVERYBODY today. Funny site, but what do Kerry voters have to be sorry about? Now would these Bush supporters PLEASE TAKE OFF YOUR BUMPER STICKERS!!!

MAN OF THE WEEK

Thank goodness for Princess Diana. Not until she married into the royal family and gave birth to her sons did the royal family have anything in the way of attractiveness in their gene pool! Her beauty has finally added that much needed genetic code. Her sons have both grown into fine looking men. After seeing 20/20 I also seen that not only did Diana add good looks to the family, but also added compassion, and a desire to reach out to all people. His true name is...HRH Prince Henry Charles Albert David Windsor of Wales, but everyone knows him as "Harry". He may not become King like his adorable bigger brother, but he certainly has what it takes to make my Man of the Week. His work with AIDS striken Africa, his work as a rugby coach for the less fortunate in Wales just to name a few. He also is a little more outspoken and "rowdy". And again, he looks really cute. Prince Harry, the Man of the Week.

Brothers Night Out

Well tonight was the night. The night that I had actually been dreading. RWR (Right Wing Redneck) Brother and GD, my other brother had dinner together tonight. It's sort of like therapy I suppose for RWR. He feels that if he gets to know me a little better he can begin to heal whatever it is in his head that keeps him so angry about the fact that there are gay people in the world, one of which happens to be his brother. Me.

What I thought would be conversation about me (You know I always think it's about me) and who I am; was nothing like I thought. We discussed being teenagers and the antics that we did. Well actually what they did. I was not a wild child, I was the "golden child" I was always the good kid. After listening to them tell some of the things that they did, my antics are very pale. Actually they are so pale they can not be seen at all. Dinner conversation about the wild things they did. I was shocked by some of the things that I heard there tonight. I knew my brothers were a little wild, but it's a wonder they survived into adulthood.

What I really don't understand is how any of this will change the way my brother sees me, or how he perceives the gay community for that matter. I really think he just wants to be able to bond with me some how and for some reason, and maybe this is his way. But regardless of how it works, I just hope it works. I love my brother, I just do not like the person he has grown into, but then I guess he says the same thing about me. Maybe this will begin to remove that wedge that has built up between us. I know that we are not getting any younger, and I know my parents hate that there is all this anomosity between us, so let's hope this will bring us back together. Not that my brother and I were ever really close, we came from the same parents but from two totally different worlds. But at least we may be able to stay in the same room with each other for more than 20 minutes. Hell we had dinner together tonight and sat at the same table right next to each other for over an hour and 20 minutes. I'd say it's a good start. What do you think?

Kissing Heath Was Like...

Do you sometimes get visuals when you are in conversation, or hear something? You know those mind pictures that pop into your head. Some are good, some are REAL good and others are..."Oh please...thanks for that visual!" Well I just got a visual.

Jake Gyllenhaal reported to Elle Magazine that kissing Heath hurt...

“Heath almost broke my nose in [a kissing] scene. He grabs me and he slams me up against the wall and kisses me. And then I grab him and I slam him up against the wall and I kiss him. And we were doing take after take after take. I got the [bleep] beat out of me. We had other scenes where we fought each other and I wasn’t hurting as badly as I did after that one.”

Can you say that one more time Jake... "he grabs me and he slams me up against the wall and kisses me, and then I grab him and I slam him up against the wall and I kiss him..."

That is a REAL GOOD visual. Say it again Jake, I just LOVE that visual!!

NO, I Don't Think So!

What is it lately with people wanting to change our Constitution?? There is are REASONS why certain things were put there and why others were not. I can not think of any better reason than THIS, to not change the Constitution regarding immigrant born candidates running for President. It's bad enough that we have to deal with Bush for four more years. I certainly do not want to worry about an Austrian born immigrant running for President. Wasn't that where Hitler was from? What's next? Lowering the age limit for candidates? If some of the right wingers had their way I am sure they would try and change it to read that only MARRIED MALE CHRISTIAN AMERICANS could run for President. Thomas Jefferson is turning over in his grave about all of this. There are plenty of qualified AMERICANS that were born in this country that can and should run for President. Arnold can hardly be understood when he is talking... he needs to stay in California and away from the White House. Maria talk some sense into your husband.

Getting Over It?

Behind every good man is his best friend. Right now NYQUIL is mine. It hit Wednesday night, by Thursday morning I was coughing, sneezing and aching. Didn't I just get over a cold like a week ago? This one is worse. Second time around I suppose. Today the fever hit me and the aches increased in severity. Kill me now. On top of feeling like shit I received a phone call yesterday from my brother. We will refer to him as Right Wing Red-Neck or RWR.

Now I haven't heard from him since Mother's Day, which is in May by the way. I try to avoid him as he is constantly trying to induce his way of life as the ONLY way onto me and anyone else around him. I am not against religion. Far from it. I was a minister for the first part of my life. I pastored churches for 16 years. I understand religion. I know what it means to have a relationship with God. But I do have a problem with those that insist that "their" way is the only right way. As far as I'm concerned the only right way is God's way, not other's opinoins or beliefs of what God's way is.

Anyway...after over an hour on the phone he began to apologize for the way he had been for the past few months. (Months? He has been this way his entire life!!) He said that he has come to terms with me being gay and it didn't bother him anymore. He didn't understand it, but he accepted me. Okay, and? I mean I've heard this all from him before so I am a little aprehensive. He said he felt that we all needed to get together and talk about it. Talk about what? And who is we? I don't have a problem. My parents nor my other brother seem to have a problem, so who needs to talk here. He is the one with the problem. While we are talking let's talk about his relationship with his partner...I mean really what is there to talk about. Then I got to the heart of the problem when I asked...

"So RWR, Are you embarrassed or ashamed of the fact that your brother is gay?"
"Well, yeah I suppose I am."
"Why? I'm not. What is there for YOU to be ashamed about?"

He couldn't answer that, but then when he stated that when he sees DJ and I together he becomes enraged. Angry. Seething. Okay, I don't think you've accepted it there little brother, and it sounds like your issues are deeper than what I can help you with. And you know what they say about homophobia...I told him that by the way.

So he says that he wants to get over those feelings. He wants to understand and have a relationship with his brother. I say, okay. Not a problem. I'd love that actually. So we decided to have "Brother's Night" one night each month where he, my younger brother GD and I get together and have dinner and talk. They are baby steps, it's a beginning.

I do think me getting over my cold will happen much sooner than my brother getting over his homophobia. God, I hope so!!

MAN OF THE WEEK

There could be many reason to choose Brad Pitt as this weeks MAN OF THE WEEK. It could be the blue eyes. Maybe the strong chiseled jaw. The rugged handsomeness, or just the overall YUM of the entire man. But that's not the reason I am naming Brad as this weeks Man.

Brad has other interests other than movies and Jennifer Aniston. He is involved with many organizations and causes. One of which caught my eye. Brad met with Nelson Mandela this week in a campaign agaisnt AIDS and HIV. Now that is a mark of not only a hot man but a good man. Hat's off to Brad Pitt.

A Day Off And A Dollar Short

So much for being proud of myself for not spending so much at Target on Tuesday! Wednesday evening we met Silver Fox for Dinner at "Carol's on Main". Carol's used to be the place to go, but ever since Carol sold it the food, and the service has went down. Silver and I order the Salmon Special. The salmon was cold, the bread was hard and the service was mediocre. Dj ordered a Turkey Burger and got a regular burger. The check came and I was suprised at the cost, even though it wasn't that high, it certainly wasn't worth it. Sometimes it's just not worth going out to dinner. During dinner Silver told us that "A Home At The End of The World" was out on DVD, so off to Target we went. No movie could be found. So it was home to watch the 2nd disc of the 8th Season of Friends.

Thursday I finally had a day off!! For Veterans Day. Go figure. I worked my birthday, July 4th and Labor Day but get off Veterans Day. I can thank DJ's mother for the day off (Mama D). She has taken over running the business and sees the neccesity for a day off everyone now and then. So for the day DJ nad I were treated for lunch at Red Lobster. Now there the food was much better and the service was excellent. Plus not having to pay for it is always a bonus. After our trip to the Lobster we stopped at Wal0Mart. (I know, I'm lowering myself, but hey we found some deals!) We got cat litter and cat food for a dollar cheaper than Target, and of course we had to make a stop in electronics. We purchased Dead Calm, one of my favorites and Tremors, one of DJ's favs. We still have not found At Home yet, but still looking. So at the checkout our total was a little over $84.00, so that made up for the good night at Target on Tuesday.

Picking up the boys tonight after work, and probably going to go see a movie with them this weekend, and then Sunday they have a big Bowling Tournement which I will be able to attend. Then Mama D has invited us over for Sunday dinner. She even asked DJ yesterday about ideas for me for a Christmas Gift! I think I've finally made it into the family!

So the weekend looks planned and full. I will post the Man of the Week either later today or tomorrow.

Target Tuesday

Target Tuesday was fairly simple this time. We purchased, Shrek 2, The Stepford Wives a few odds and ends for home, and that was it! We got out of there under $100!! I am proud of ourselves. Tomorrow dinner is being planned with Silver. We haven't seen him since his excursion to Vegas, so we are looking forward to "stories"

MAN OF THE WEEK

Yeah I've been a little preoccupied that last several days. Sorry for the lack of postings, but DJ has went on the day shift, so I'm not alone at night anymore!! In the words of my SIMS 2... WOO HOO! I completely lost track of the days and realized I forgot my Man of the Week posting for last week.

There was a lot of hoopla last week regarding the release of the first pictures and posters for the newest Star Wars film, Revenge of the Sith. What took me by suprise is how Hayden Christensen has grown up!! He plays Anakin Skywalker aka Darth Vader. From the pictures this looks like it's going to be a good picture, but when is Star Wars not a good picture? What I also found out is that there are rumors abounding about Hayden's current beau...is it Beyonce Knowles or Trevor Blumas? If you have time, catch up on the timeline of the two HERE. Regardless of who he maybe jumping into bed with these days he has grown up into a real HOTTIE

MAN OF THE WEEK
Hayden Christensen

In other news...
The weekend went without a hitch, same ole shit just another day. Although on Sunday DJ and I were both off and had decided to go see Grudge with Sarah Michelle Geller. (Did you know she played a teenage Jackie Kennedy Onassis in a made for TV movie in 1991?) What we did instead was stay at home, do laundry and clean house. It actually was nice, quiet and relaxing even though I was cleaning and doing household chores. DJ even got to play SIMS 2 for most of the day! Yes, I do give it up occasionally. My boys were not here this weekend so we just chilled and enjoyed one anothers company. Now that he is on an earlier shift we will spend more time together. I am happy that he moved his hours earlier, maybe this will help the funk I've had for over a month. It seems to be working already, we went to Target tonight!! The first time in weeks and we got four new DVD's; Birdcage, Shrek 2, The League of Extraodinary Gentlemen and Matrix. Tomorrow Season 8 of Friends comes out so it will be off to Target again tomorrow! See the funk is fading already!

The Good 'Ole Days

What did they do back then? You know before there were the technological convenience that we take for granted today. I now fully understand why families consisted of 8 or more children! The reason I bring this up is that up until about 20 minutes ago we had no electricity. Thanks to our former landlord (who had an outstanding bill on the electric) our electric was shut off sometime today. Once DJ got home and contacted the electric company and took care of the problem they put us on a waiting list to restore the power to our building. So when we got home we did nothing. We sat under candlelight. DJ is a very avid reader so he read. I read, but have to be in the mood to read, and in order to read I need light. My eyesight is not what it used to be. This made me think. What did they do before the electric light bulbs? It wasn't really that long ago if you think about it. In 1882 the first electric and gas power plant went into operation providing electric to only a one square mile area. That was only 122 years ago. How did they get by? No wonder it was early to bed early to rise...You couldn't see anything any other time.

Then I realized not only did we not have lights, we had no fridge or cooking stove. Not to mention that we had no heat either!! Thank goodness we had a car. So we went out for dinner, hoping when we returned we would have power. On the way there I began to think about the automobile. It was less than a 100 years ago before automobiles were a common mode of transportation. The first automobile was not even thought of until 1887. Then until Henry Ford set up the first assembly lines, were the common man able to afford them. Think about not having a car. And only being able to depend on your horse to get you from one place to the other!!

So, when we returned from dinner, still no power. Re-light the candles. I took a bath, and a little nap. Finally DJ and I decided to play some poker. Using pennies as our chips. (Why didn't we think of strip poker??) My whole nightly routine was diverted because of no electrical power. When things finally came back on I came to the computer (of course!) and then I realized that I remember the day when computers were as large as buildings, and a home computer was a thing of the future. The first Home computer was released by Apple in 1976. Only 28 years ago. Amazing really. Can you imagine our daily lives without the computer? What would we do? How would we communicate? How would we entertain ourselves!?? Not to mention not having any TV, Silver Fox would have to be put into rehab due to Reality TV withdrawals!! What would I do without my SIMS!! Oh this is just too depressing to think about any longer...

We are really spoiled aren't we? So the next time someone says how they miss the good 'ole days...Turn off your electric for about 5 hours. Good 'ole days my ass!!

What Really Matters

Okay enough of the political rhetoric, at least for today's post anyway. Not much can be done about it now but there is the next election. I'm not talking about the next Presidential election, I am talking about EVERY election. Each one is important, and in order to be heard we need to vote like we voted Tuesday every time we are given the opportunity. Oh, sorry I said enough didn't I? Okay...

Today my thoughts are with family. My cousin T~, a young 48 year old female had a major heart-attack on Monday. She had no signs or warning. She is still alive but had to undergo
by-pass heart surgery. The reason? Vioxx. She has suffered for years from arthritis, and Vioxx was prescribed to her. Now she has had a heart attack, and by-pass surgery at 48 years old. This gives a whole new meaning that the cure is sometimes worse than the disease.

My thoughts on my family also include my own mother. Mom has been "under the weather" for several weeks now and unable to work. Even though she retired officially several years ago she still maintians employment with one of the area hospitals, as a couirer. However after a viral infection some weeks ago she has been experiencing severe dizziness and nausea. Finally after weeks of tests, and feeling miserable she has found the culprit. The viral infection she had, set off a severe case of vertigo. Now I know my mom is dizzy sometimes, but now we know the real reason!! I just thought it came from living with my father for almost 50 years! But thank goodness it is treatable (the vertigo, not my father) and she soon will be back behind the wheel transporting livers, hearts and blood work.

Family are important to us. Even when we don't seem to agree there is that bond that keeps us together. My cousin T~ and I were close as children, but as adults we went out own ways, but I ache for her and her family for what they are having to go through. Of course mom is the reason we have the family we have anyway, without her there would be no "us". Family, those are the real important issues. Those are the things that really matter.

Concede

Concede. A Sad word. A Sad Day. A Sad state of affairs.

Regardless of the outcome of last nights election, one thing should be ringing into George W.'s ears. That our country is divided. Divided straight down the middle and it is time to bring the country back together.

John Kerry made a mark, and his efforts will not go un-noticed. I believe that the Democrats also understand the message that this election has given. It is time for a change. I pray that change begins to happen, and that George Bush will honestly try to bring about that change. Not that I think that will happen, I just pray it does.

What was so scary is the fact that over 60% of the voters voted for moral issues! Yes, morals are a good thing to have, but not the republicans version of them! PLEASE! So the American people are telling me that moral issues are more important than, feeding your children, having employment, living in fear of terrorism. Morals are needed, yes I agree, but we have a country where the unemployment rate is at an all time high, and over 50% of working mothers do not even have health care for their children. Morals...That was not the reason I voted. I voted becasue America needs to wake up and realize that we have REAL issues facing us, and stop worrying about who is sleeping with who.

On that sad note, 11 States voted to ban gay marriages and civil unions. Strike up another one for the Moral Right...Yet, in Cincinnati there was a measure of victory when voters repealed Article 12. This will now allow gay/lesbians to have the same rights as other citizens in the city of Cincinnati, and if they do not they will have recourse. Thank goodness for small favors.

All I can say about the election is I that I keep hearing a song going on in my head today...

"Oh Canada..."

Comparisons

I have mentioned the fact that the comparison to this years presidential election and the election of 1828 are eerie. First of all in the election immediately proceeding in 1824, JQ Adams, the son of President John Adams was placed in office by the House of representatives as no real majority was found when the votes were counted. Even though Jackson (the Democrat) won the popular vote, Adams was placed in Office by the House. Sound vaguely familiar? Jump four years. Jackson vs. Adams. Jackson won by a major victory and placed in office by the people. But not before a very nasty-mudslinging, character bashing campaign. Again, sound familiar?
I am hoping the results turn out as similar, but regardless of the outcome...To add to the eerie-ness of this election and it's comparison to the latter, look at these pictures of Kerry-Jackson and Bush-Adams.