Birthdays, Holidays & the Blues

One of my best friends will celebrate a birthday tomorrow. Birthdays are inevitable, well unless you have died already. But my problem is this,

1) What do you get someone who has almost everything?
2) What kind of gift really tells someone just how much you care about them?
3) How can any gift truly mean what you want it to?

This friend has been there for me many times over and it's hard to find something approriate. I was shopping last night and nothing I looked at seemed like it would be or mean what I wanted it to. I suppose one day a year is not going to show or tell someone just how much you do care and love them. We should do it every day of the year. The problem with that is, that I've failed there too.

Then that brings up Christmas. Gift giving. Again I know one day a year is not going to make up for all the times in the past year that I failed, but what is the right gift? DJ is the hardest to buy for as we buy for one another all year long. So what can I get him that is special? Then there is my kids. I know that a monetary gift would be something they would want, but how much feeling is put into giving money? Again, doing all year long would be more beneficial. And again I fail so much at that.

Which bring me to even more of the state of mind that I've been in for the past two months or more. I don't want to do anything but come home, watch TV or play on the computer. I don't want to talk to anyone or go anywhere. I think it's time to get to the doctor, as this is becoming more than just a phase. I really think it may be a chemical imbalance or maybe a hormone deficency (do only women suffer from that?) All I know if this has got to stop! Maybe I can start the new year with a new outlook and the once vivid, active, life of the party guy can reappear, with a little help from some meds.