THIRTEEN REASONS I SHOULD HAVE BEEN NAMED THE SEXIEST MAN ALIVE INSTEAD OF MATT DAMON...
1) I am really good at hunting guys named Will.
2) I had some very close ties when in school
3) I am just as talented as Mr. Ripley
4) You would NEVER find me chasing Amy.
5) I never really had an identity problem
6) I also never thought of myself as supreme
7) I try not to give people I love ultimatums
8) When I leave a room, I don't make a big deal about Departing.
9) I'm not a fan of Jimmy Kimmel
10) Some people refer to me as the rainmaker
11) I've seen the ocean about eleven times
12) Or maybe it was 12 or 13, I can't remember
13) I know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop!