Life is Short

Life is short. We hear that all the time. Sometimes as a kid I heard that and thought, how could life be so short? It seemed as though life moved so slowly as a child. Remember how your four years in High School seemed to be an eternity and you didn't think graduation was EVER going to happen?

Now I look back on those days and I realize that it has been 30 years since I graduated and I say to myself, "Where did it go?, Life is so short."

Today was another one of those days when I said those words. Back in the early 90's I became close with a very dear family. Two sisters. One was married with twin sons, the other sister was single and devoted to God and her church. My wife, at the time, spent a great deal of time with this family. The unmarried sister became a surrogate mother to our children, as she was with us almost ever day. Many times staying overnight.

The other sister, we were not as close to, but we still were close. Her husband and her boys were her life, and she worked very hard at trying to make sure that her family was taken care of. She never worked outside of the home, and her husband didn't make a lot of money, but they always seemed to manage and you could tell that they enjoyed their life. Their twin sons were polar opposites, one was out going, active and always working, the other was a backward, introverted young man that stayed close to mom and home.

A few years ago, the youngest sister died after a hard fought battle with cancer. My kids were shaken by her death, as she was such a vital part of their growing up. About two years later her sister died, both died young, not even in their sixties yet.

Like most, life went on for the father and two sons. The outgoing son married had children, divorced and continued to work hard. The introverted son became more outgoing, worked hard and made a home for himself and also eventually married. The father also re-married and began a new life.

This afternoon my mother called me at work and reminded me how short life is. The outgoing, active, gregarious son had died. He was only 33. Thirty three years, so young and so much life that should have been ahead for him. He had two small children and was soon to be remarried. His entire life he struggled with juvenile diabetes, and even though I am not sure, I would assume it finally took it's toll on his body.

Yesterday it seems I watched that young man be baptised, start driving, grow into a strong hard working young man, and today he is gone. Yes, life is short.

For some even shorter than it should be.

Paris is Pregnant

No not Paris Hilton, but made ya look didn't I?

Remember this post from a few months ago, Call me Daddy?

Well it seems as though there is something at the watercooler at work because everytime I turn around another girl is coming up pregnant! We do not have that many employees in our office, about 170 and there are at least 10 that I can think of that either have recently had a baby, close to having a baby or just found out they are having a baby. It's a baby boom!

Now think about poor me in this sea of raging hormones! It's crazy. Now on top of it, my dream has come true. The one about where I dreamed Paris had my baby. Well she is with child.

No silly goose it's not my baby!! It's her current boyfriend/ex-husbands.

Yes my work wife went and got herself knocked up. But it's all good and her and her man are very happy about this unexpected turn of events.

All I can say is I hope I never have any dreams about ME being pregnant!

Happy St. Patricks!

Sorry for the lack of posts, but busy times lately. Busy at work, busy with family, just busy.

But I did take some time out tonight to celebrate St. Patty's Day with "midget". We went to a friendly neighborhood bar and then to dinner. Some quality time with a quality person. And no, we didn't have any green beer....

Call Me Daddy!

No, this is not a posting about the 20 year age difference between DJ and I and how I'm his big gay daddy. Actually we have never even thought of ourselves as that way...well except that one time we went camping and the people camping next to us thought I WAS his daddy...

This is even more entertaining than talking gay stereotypes. I came into work today and was immediately accosted by my beautiful "work wife", Paris. (Not her real name, but Paris is her hero)

"I need to talk to you..." She says with that I've been up to no good look in her eye, and that smile that could melt a thousand hearts. Did I really want to hear this? Before my first cup of coffee? Okay I took the plunge... "what?"

"I had a dream about you last night. And I'm not sure what this means, but... we had a baby together!"

THAT, I was not expecting. "Really, and what was it, I mean sex wise?"

"A girl, and we named her Matilda." The cubicle partner of Paris overhears the conversation and chimes in... "OMG If you two had a kid, it would have to be gay." What gay men can't have straight children? I hate to kill another gay stereotype, but I have four children, and they are all straight. Well not any of them have came out if they are gay, and with a gay dad, you'd think they'd be pretty open about that.

Me a Dad?? That is really scary. And even though Paris is an extraordinary and amazing woman in order for us to have a child we would have had to... well let's not think of that. She did say however that the dream was only about the birth process and not the conception.

So, Paris and I have a child, our darling little Matilda, that we will call Mattie. I ask you, as Paris asked me... Just what does this mean??

My Own Little Taste of Paris

I have several girls at work that I call friends. There is of course "Midget" whom I've known now for over 8 years. We worked together at another law firm and were also room-mates for a while. Then we have "Full Figured Model", who is a daily source of entertainment, sharing stories of her family and her and her new husband. Then "Newlywed" is one of those girls you love, her wit and sarcasm is just the right amount to make your day go so much better, plus we get updates on when she is ovulating. Her and her new husband are wanting to child, SOON. "Momma Kentucky" is just that, momma, she mothers all of us, including me, who is 10 years her senior. There is not a day that goes by that she is not "offering" her motherly advise to one of us. Then there is "Paris". Paris is a single mom of two beautiful little girls and who is quite attractive herself. Even though she refers to herself as Fatty McNofriends, which is not the case. She just says that so we will tell her that she is NOT fat, but we all got wise to that, and now we just ignore that comment or agree with her.

Most of the people I work with are highly educated individuals. I believe most of us have a degree or at least some kind of higher education. However, no amount of education is going to change who each of us really are. Case in point:

Paris has a brother that lives and works in D.C. She is planning a trip to visit him soon, however she has never flown before and does not want to make the trip alone, so she has asked Midget to be her companion on a little long weekend excursion. She is all excited about the trip, even though she is somewhat hesitant about flying. As she is talking about making her trip she makes the following statement;

"Oh I am so excited, I can not wait to go. Oh, I forgot, now I'm going to have to get a passport, aren't I?"

Yes, somethings do not change even if you are college educated. And now you know why we call her Paris.

Playing Grandpa

I kept my grand-daughter overnight last night. Yes, I played grandpa. My daughter and her husbands had tickets to see the Bengals last pre-season game and called to ask me if I could watch Lana. Of course i jumped at the chance. She is such a good baby, and seems to content.

But that's when she has her mommy! For the ride to grandpa's she was fine, she even fell asleep for about 20 minutes. Once we arrived home she was fine, a little sleepy as the only nap she had was the one in the car. But then one of DJ's mom's barked, and she became terrified and began crying. It took me a few minutes but she calmed down. But for the entire stay she didn't want to get down on the floor. Would you with barking dogs bigger than you?

She played and she talked and she became DJ's little sisters best friend. Overall the night was good. She went down for the night about 9:30 or so and she slept until 5:30, I gave her another bottle and she slept until almost 10. Not bad for a 13 month old.

I had a good time with her, and I hope she will not relate grandpa to the place with the scary barking dogs!

Another Goodbye

My best friend, Silver had to say goodbye to his father today. After a brief illness and complications from surgery his father passed early this morning. Yesterday they had to make the decision to turn off the life support that had been sustaining him the past few days.

I can not even begin to imagine his pain and loss. I've lost my grandparents, as has DJ just recently, but a parent? His father was two years younger than my own father, and 66 is not that old in this day in time. I hurt for him, but I also don't know what to say or how to comfort. All I can do is just be there in the upcoming weeks when he needs me. He had to tell his own son today. How does one do that? I can not even begin to understand. Thankfully he and his father reconciled some time ago after a falling out. Today he just told me to tell my parents how much I love them. Which I did. I even went over and spent the evening with them.

I hurt for you Silver, and hope the next few days are as painless as they can be. And when it is all over just remember the good times and also remember that there are good friends here to help you through.

Viva Laughlin

I received an e-mail today from Kare Bear that the new series, Viva Laughlin is being picked up for the fall season. Viva is considered to be a favorite for the fall, and is based on a BBC show that has had great success in Britain. Here, Viva Laughlin is the story of a young man that wants to start up a casino in Laughlin, Nevada. The show is a comedy, drama, musical...well just a little bit of everything.

You ask, Why are you interested in a new TV show for the fall?

Well the reason is Kare-Bear's sister in law and good friend, Missy Doty will be starring in the show, as Diane! If you recall Missy was Cammie in the Oscar Nominated film Sideways. She has also starred in Ally McBeal, and several other TV shows. This is another great break for our Missy, so watch Viva this fall and support the hometown girl!

Dreams, Dreams, Dreams

I have written on here before about the strange dreams that I have had, which often times come to reality. Well Friday I had a dream. Friday night. It was somewhat strange, as it was about my friend Veruca. I dreamed we were at a party and Veruca was all over this young girl. Major PDA, which I suppose is not strange, other than the fact that Veruca is of the gay persuasion. So he tells me in this dream that he wants kids, and this girl has agreed to marry him and have his children. Then a few minutes later I see Veruca on a sofa all over this really hot guy. Again, not abnormal. The girl then comes over and hits him over the head with a wine bottle and knocks him out and we rush him to the ER where he has to have his head sown up. Dream Over.

So on Monday I call Veruca, as his birthday is coming up and I wanted to take him to lunch next week. So I left a message for him to call me, and I mentioned that I had a dream I had to tell him about. So he returns my call, it went something like this...

"So what did you dream?"

I told him about my dream of him and the girl with the wine bottle...

"Do not EVER dream about me again."

"Why?"

"Well, Saturday morning I got up and was heading down the stairs when I tripped over the cat, and fell. I slammed my head and wound up getting knocked unconscious. Thank goodness I had a friend sleeping over on the couch and got me to the hospital. I have 5 staples in me head."

And they say dreams don't really mean anything!

Finally Growing Up

Yesterday marked my 1 month with my new employer and things are going well. Once each week the attorney chooses two employees to leave early due to their outstanding work production. After only one month, I was chosen! So I'd say I'm doing okay.

Last week seemed pretty long, after working two four day weeks due to the holidays, this past week was the first full five day week in sometime. Not that I am complaining, as I am not, but it seems as though I do nothing but work, come home and do it all again. But isn't that what life is all about? I did get to visit with Veruca on Tuesday evening. He bought his own place, which just happens to be right down the road from my office. Tuesday we met there and he fixed dinner. The place is really nice, a bit small, but for one person it is perfect. It has a great balcony that overlooks the entire downtown Cincinnati area. Quite a view. We had a nice quiet evening together catching up and enjoying one anothers company. We have been friends for so long now, over 12 years, it's good to see that he has done well for himself. Even though our lives are very different from one another now, it's good to know he is still part of my life.

I also made another step into adulthood this past week. I know at 46 you'd think I'd be completely grown by now, but I have always said "I refuse to grow up!", but this week I opened my very own checking account! First time since I was married that I've had a checking account. It feels weird actually. Going to the bank and making deposits and writing checks. It seems as though I'm all grown up now, don't you think?

Back From Oblivion

I had a somewhat interesting day yesterday.

Now don't get too excited, it probably isn't as exciting for you as it was for me.

I had a call back for a second interview with a firm I am trying to get a job with. Something I have done before, and actually enjoyed it very much. I'm still waiting for them to make a decision, so I'm holding my breath. I know don't hold it too long. But that is not what I was excited about.

What excited me was a voice I heard as I walked from my car to the building for the interview.

"Michael!!!" The voice was one I knew, but not quite recognizable. As I turned around I couldn't believe my eyes!

Standing there looking sheepishly, and as excited as I was, was an old friend, room-mate/co-worker. EER had lived with DJ and I for over a year when we first got together six years ago. She became our little sister and we took her everywhere with us. At the time she was very naive and innocent. Our goal was to change that...

After we moved from the place we shared, she left Cincinnati and moved back to her hometown in New Hampshire where she underwent a gastric by-pass. DJ and I stayed downtown and then later moved out here in the sub-burbs. We saw her a few times after that, but after time we just seemed to go our separate ways. I heard that she did get pregnant a year or so ago, and lost her baby. We tried contacting her to no avail. Then yesterday out of no where, there she was.

She filled me in on her life, and that she had moved back to Cincinnati some time ago and didn't know how to get a hold of us. She also informed me that she was married in March, but is now going through a divorce. I told her we thought she just disappeared.

I'm glad she didn't. She was a breath of fresh air when she lived with us, and even though she is not as naive as she used to be she really has not changed all that much. Her smile and laughter was fully intact. Hopefully we will be working again soon!!

Weekend Update

The weekend came and went and here we are again, Monday.

Saturday night I met up with Kare Bear and her friends at the Back Porch Saloon for dinner and drinks and catching up. Kare Bear has not changed. Even after not seeing her for over a year, we fell right back into sync. It was just like the days we hung out almost every weekend at the bars. We drank, laughed and drank some more. Kare Bear's friends were there, "Miss Algonquin" (long story) who I adore, and of course "Miss Thang" and her husband, and "Mary Mary" who is expecting her first baby in April; along with some new friends that I had heard about and finally got to meet. Catching up eith everyone and re-living some of our past antics was a lot of fun. It was great to see everyone again. It was a much needed night out.

Sunday, DJ and I began moving some of our boxes and furniture that we are not taking to his mothers into storage. Hard to believe we have so much SHIT! You don't realize how much you have until you have to box it up and start moving it. We moved about 12 boxes, with some bookcases and other small items and we didn't even fill up a corner of the storage bin. We got a 10x20 unit, but I really think there is going to be quite a bit of room left over once we get everything into it. After moving we both were exhausted and spent the rest of the night "vegging" on the couch watching "Indiana Jones" movies.

Back to the real world here on Monday, so back to the want ads...

What's Up for the Weekend

Happy Friday the 13th!

I hope you enjoyed my posting yesterday, my first 12 of 12 posting. I spent a long time getting it together and posting it, but guess what? I forgot to post a link over at Chad's site! All the work for nothing. Well at least you got to read it! See, I told you, I do have a boring life.

But, I actually have plans for the weekend!

Tomorrow night Kare Bear is having a get-together over at the Back Porch Saloon, she and her hubby moved to Savannah back last year and she is coming into town for the weekend and wants to see everyone. So I will be getting out of the house for a while. I think it will do me good to get out and enjoy others company instead of sitting in this half-empty apartment. Kare Bear and I worked together for about four years at the law firm I used to work at. We were let go at the same time. I haven't seen her in quite a long time so I'm looking forward to the "reunion"

Sunday DJ is off and we are going to be packing the majority of our stuff and moving it into the storage bin. All of our living room furniture, dining room suite and boxes that we have packed. That will leave our apartment pretty empty. So for the next few weeks we will be living in an empty apartment. Of course the TV, DVD player and the computer will be the last things we move. A man has to have something to do!

Too Much Time On My Hands

I have really got to get a job! I have WAY too much time on my hands. I now have 7 different blogs that I write, two flickr accounts that I maintain, and 6 e-mail accounts. Not to mention that I have been writing like mad since I opened my account on Lulu.com. Plus I also signed up for two online survey accounts. I am sure DJ is tired of the time I spend on the computer doing really NOTHING.

Well I do have a routine. Every morning I get up and check my e-mail, and then I check the job postings on the three accounts I have, careerbuilder.com; monsterjobs.com and jobsonline.com and then post my resume. So I am at least doing something pertinent.

I talked to a friend tonight and found out that the relationship that they had been in for the last three years is over. They have went their separate ways and divided their things and have called it quits. Now they are starting over, again. I know how hard that is and I feel for them and hope that things will look up soon. They have told me they are ready to have some quality time with themselves and not get into another relationship right away. I hope that they do.

Speaking of time, where has September gone!? It is already the 20th of the month. I can not believe how fast it is going. It is going to be Christmas before we know it! Well I have to go, I just heard a ding on the computer and I have to check and see what e-mail account has new mail. Or maybe someone bought another one of my books on Lulu, or possibly I have another survey to take....

I'm Not the Man I Used To Be

And that's probably a good thing...

I did something last night that I have not done in quite sometime. I went out. Out to dinner and for a few drinks. Now just a few years ago this was my daily habit. Get up, go to work, go to happy hour, get home around 11 or 12 and do it all over again. But not any more. Mainly because I don't want too, and secondly because I can not physically do it anymore. You know that AGE thing. But last night I did.

I met Veruca out for dinner and caught up on everything with him and Jewels. It was good to sit and chat and poke fun at other customers in the restaurant. Of course they were not aware of it, which makes it even more entertaining. After dinner and a couple drinks we headed to another local bar, where we immediately left. The patronage there was not very, well let's just say we didn't feel comfortable. We then headed to an old hangout where we met up with our favorite bartender, who ironically was working 12 years ago when Veruca and I first stumbled into the gay scene. We had a few drinks there, well I did, Veruca was not so inclined. Then we headed to Hamburger Mary's for a nightcap. Again we chatted and talked about our future and our goals.

We ended the night with a promise to get together more often, and to keep in contact. It was a good night and Veruca even called later to make sure I got home okay.

One thing I didn't say to Veruca was the fact of how proud I am of his accomplishments. In the 13 years that we have known one another he has come a long way. He is very successful, financially secure and continuing his education by working on his Master's degree. Knowing him, I know how much this all means to him and how secure he has become because of this. Even though sometimes I'm a wee bit jealous, I'm very proud of what he has done with his life and what he plans for his future. But with that said it is also very good to know that even though many things have changed with both of us, it's nice that some things still remain the same. Friendships are like that.

Now on the other side of that, would someone please remind me that going out on a work night, is NOT in my best interest, especially the next morning!

Hump Day

That's a strange name for a Wednesday. Hump Day. I know it's the middle of the week, two days past and two days to go until the weekend, but for those of us that work on Saturdays it means very little.

Still nothing on the job front, but I've got my resume out and also posted it on monster.com so hopefully something will pop up soon.

Meeting Veruca tonight after work. I haven't seen him since January, it will be good to catch up with him tonight. He just had another birthday, it's hard to believe he is almost as old as I was when we moved in together. Time sure does fly.

Well that's my hump day.
Maybe something more exciting tomorrow.

Birthdays & Friends

Tomorrow one of my best friends will turn another year older. I think he will be 43, not too sure on the whole age thing. I know he is not too much younger than myself. But anyway...Silver is having a birthday.

I got to thinking about birthdays and friends. Birthdays keep coming, they never go away, and that's a good thing because if they stop coming then you really have something to worry about, you may want to find Jennifer Love Hewitt. But friends on the other hand don't keep coming. Friends tend to slow down. As a kid I had a ton of friends. As a young adult I have several people that I would call my friend. As a minister for several years in the Baptist Church, I realized that most of my friends were my friends for ulterior reasons, mainly their reasons. Now that I am older I understand what my dad said to me when I was a teenager...

"Son, you can count on one hand your true friends. Everyone else are acquaintances"

He is so right. I actually have what I would say are three true friends. Of course DJ, Silver and Veruca. Everyone else has seemed to have faded into their own lives and dreams. Which is not a bad thing, but I miss them. I still have friends that I keep in contact with, but really true to life friends, that are there no matter what. I don't have many.

Now don't get me wrong I'm not getting all misty eyed and melancholy and feeling sorry for myself because I don't have a mess of friends, I'm just stating the obvious. Actually I'm probably too selfish and self centered to have too many friends, I wouldn't have time for them. But I am very grateful and thankful for the friends I do have. I know I need to act like it more often, but then again, they know me and they know how I am, that's why they are my friend.

Back to Silver...Happy Birthday friend. Thanks for being a true friend.

Birthdays, Holidays & the Blues

One of my best friends will celebrate a birthday tomorrow. Birthdays are inevitable, well unless you have died already. But my problem is this,

1) What do you get someone who has almost everything?
2) What kind of gift really tells someone just how much you care about them?
3) How can any gift truly mean what you want it to?

This friend has been there for me many times over and it's hard to find something approriate. I was shopping last night and nothing I looked at seemed like it would be or mean what I wanted it to. I suppose one day a year is not going to show or tell someone just how much you do care and love them. We should do it every day of the year. The problem with that is, that I've failed there too.

Then that brings up Christmas. Gift giving. Again I know one day a year is not going to make up for all the times in the past year that I failed, but what is the right gift? DJ is the hardest to buy for as we buy for one another all year long. So what can I get him that is special? Then there is my kids. I know that a monetary gift would be something they would want, but how much feeling is put into giving money? Again, doing all year long would be more beneficial. And again I fail so much at that.

Which bring me to even more of the state of mind that I've been in for the past two months or more. I don't want to do anything but come home, watch TV or play on the computer. I don't want to talk to anyone or go anywhere. I think it's time to get to the doctor, as this is becoming more than just a phase. I really think it may be a chemical imbalance or maybe a hormone deficency (do only women suffer from that?) All I know if this has got to stop! Maybe I can start the new year with a new outlook and the once vivid, active, life of the party guy can reappear, with a little help from some meds.