Time Has Made Changes

 

August 2025? How can this even be reality!? Five years since the last post and over 21 years since I started this blog!, let me tell you ALOT of changes have taken place. 

1. RETIREMENT: Last year I was "forced" into retirement. After ten years with the company, they said they no longer would need me as my position had been consolidated. So, instead of looking for work, I chose to retire.

2. FAMILY: In 2023 I lost my mother to cancer. She had deteriorated from Alzheimer's to the point that we had to place her in a care facility. In September of 2023 she was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer that had metastasized into her stomach, bladder, and kidneys. They said she had about 30 days and on the 28th day from her diagnoses, she passed. Father is still here, living at home and as active as he can be for 86. My 4 kids are 33 and up to 44... My grandchildren are 19, 19, 17 and the youngest just turned 5. Time is moving by at a pace that I have a hard time keeping up. 

3. FLORIDA: In May of this year I relocated to Pensacola, Florida. I mean why not, right? I'm 65, retired, isn't that what we do at 65? It came as a surprise when DJ and B decided they wanted to sell the house and buy in Florida. We thought over it for a long time, and after dealing with family opinions and much thought, we put the house on the market and moved to the Sunshine State.

4. LOKI: Loki is my companion, friend, baby and the reason for my sanity or the loss of it. He is a shiatzu / bichon mix (what they call a "Teddy Bear" dog.) I adopted him in 2021, and he is an integral part of me. 

Those are the four biggest changes over the last five years. The other change would be me. I've turned almost completely white-headed, had another mild stroke in 2022, and I am beginning to see those tell, tell signs of aging. For the most part I am healthy in mind, body and spirit and enjoying the sunshine and my new home. 

Hopefully I will post more often, but I'm not making any promises. Maybe at least one a month?

We'll see...

Four Generations

 Spent a little bit of time yesterday with my youngest grandchild, Lizzie. She doesn't look very comfortable in this picture, but she was happy. She is almost always happy, or maybe I should say content. She doesn't cry much (at least not while I was there today) and she tries to coo and communicate.

My mother and father followed me to my daughter's house to see their great grandchild for the first time. Mother, who is in the late stages of Alzheimer's had no idea that this was her great-grandchild or even remembered her name after two minutes. I think we had to tell her about seven time what her name was. She may not have known her, but she loved her! Wanted to hold her so bad. But she wasn't able. Dad, as always was all smiles. Always is when he is around his family.

My son wasn't here, as Lizzie was visiting with her Aunt for the weekend to give her mommy & daddy a break. But four generations, how is that even possible. It seems like yesterday it was just me and these two. My mom & Dad (that was before my brothers as I was five before my first sibling came along)

Mother is 82 now, and even though here in body, mother left us a few years ago. Slowly. Alzheimer's is a cruel disease. She is nothing close, personality wise to who she used to be. She doesn't know any of us now, except for Dad. Regardless, she still smiles, and gives the best hugs. She also tells us all about her mom and dad. My grandparents died in 1999 and 2000, but she believes she lives with them.  And maybe in her mind she does and that is okay. 

Cherish days like this. Family. Parents. 

This is what life is really all about.

Meet Lizzie

 On Monday, July 27, 2020 my 4th grandchild was born. Now mind you I have 10 grandchildren, but six of them are step-grandchildren. I only have four "blood" grandchildren now.

This is Alizabeth AnneMarie, or as we will all call her, Lizzie.

Lizzie is my youngest son, Adam's daughter. He was the one that battled Hodgkin's and was told due to all the chemo and radiation that he would be sterile. But low and behold, he and his girlfriend did conceive.  Doctor's don't know it all.

Welcome to this crazy world, Lizzie.

Three Strikes and You're...Back at the Plate!

Time stops for no man...or woman. It continues to slip through our hands with no regard to what we want or where we are. Since my last post, over a year ago, so much has transpired. I know that if I were to start posting about the last year, it would take me a year, so I just want to hit on three major life changing events that happened in the last year.

1) In July of 2010, I turned 50. To say that it didn't bother me would be a lie. It did bother me, but I kept up appearances and continued on the same path. I really was not taking care of myself. I had gained a lot of weight, and weighed over 190 pounds. But I remained comfortable and satisfied, or so I thought. The shortly after my 50th birthday, reality started setting in and led to event number two.

 

 

2) In about September or October of 2010, Dan and I ended our ten year relationship. There were a lot of things that brought us to that place, but the bottom line was, it was time. As I said prior I had stopped taking care of myself, and became complacent. Dan became frustrated with my complacency as he was trying to loose weight and take care of himself. Put that on top of my unwarranted jealousy and Dan's desire to have freedom and experience life, we began to move in different directions. In January we finally told our families, and by February Dan met someone and moved out. That didn't last long and he soon moved back in, but only as friends. And now almost a year later we are as best of friends as we have ever been. He goes his way, I go mine and we still share things we schedules permit. I learnt a great deal in this past year, and thanks to my best friend I was able to learn it with him learning the same things, but in a different way. I realize that I no longer need to be dependent on anyone else. Regardless of how much you care about someone, or how much they care about you, we can not put all of our strength, hopes, dreams, goals on them. I am thinking independently again, living somewhat independently again, and finding myself again...and I am doing it with my best friend. Yes, it was hard, after ten years I'd be crazy if it wasn't, but we both are better men for it. Even tho9ugh breaking up was hard to do....the most devastating event that changed my life happened in 2011.

 

 

3) In April of 2011, during a conference call at work, I began to feel somewhat odd. After the meeting I tried to go back to my desk, and never made it. I suffered a mild stroke and was taken to urgent care and then later to Christ Hospital where I stayed for four days. A stroke, at 50 years old!! It was scary, debilitating, frightening, and an emotional wake up call. I soon was able to come back, and there are almost no residual effects from the stroke, but it made me realize many things. I look at each day with different eyes, as well as those around me that I love and cherish.

 

 

Yes, time does move quickly, and things can change in a moment. But even though I suffered three strikes in the past year, I am not out! I am back at the plate, better than ever and ready to hit a home run!!

Easter 2010

Today I celebrated the resurrection of Christ with my mother, father, brother and his family in their church. Over 1,100 people in attendance and it was an awesome experience, from the music to the sermon and even the after service events. As I looked over the crowd as I was leaving the sanctuary, I suddenly was taken back 41 years earlier. Easter, 1969. I would have been 8 years old and my brother Carl about 4. My youngest brother Gary was yet to have been born, but my mother would give birth to him that September. These two Easters really had nothing in common, other than it was Easter, and again I shared it with my brother and my parents. My father had worked for weeks on my brother and my easter suits, and after this picture was taken we would have gone to chruch somewhere, I am not sure where at that time, it may have been at the church I went as a teen, but not sure. I do not remember, but I do remember one thing.

It was the first Easter I realized that the man Jesus, that one we celebrated his birth at Christmas had died and on Easter rose from the dead. I must have heard it from the sermon that morning, but I remember at first thinking..."Wow, can that really happen?" then thinking that if he could do it, then maybe all of us could do it. We all would rise from the dead, and never die. I liked that idea.

It is funny how certain things bring back memories we have stored away deep into our minds and suddenly there they are again. It was like I was back in 1969, holding my little brother's hand and getting onto the church bus and being excited because when we got home there would be an Easter basket filled with eggs and candy. So innocent.

Here I was 41 years later, sitting in a church service, listening to a sermon very similar I am sure to that one I was listening to 41 years earlier. My brother sitting in the pew down from me. I almost wanted to reach over and take his hand hoping in a way we both could go back to that day.

Easter is a special day. A day for life. A day for living. Made possible by one that loved us so much that he died, so we could live to see today and to have lived all these years and have those precious memories.

Happy Easter.

Last Chapter of 2009

We are coming to the close of another year and with it the close of another chapter of our lives. This was my 49th year and during this year many things took place and changes were made in our lives that will effect us from now on. My son Adam's battle raged on in 2009 and finally by December a reprieve has come as his tumors have shrunk, are not active and in remission. We had loss with the death of an uncle unexpectedly at 59, and DJ's grandfather at the age of 70. We had wedding engagements, Anniversaries and new babies, as my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in July and Dan became an Uncle with the birth of his Nephew, Jayden in August. We also had breakups as my daughter moved back home with her two girls to start off on her own again after 7 years. Health issues continued to rear its ugly head as my diabetes continued to spiral out of control, and finally became controllable only to find out that I may be in the early stages of Andropause...yes that is male menopause and its real, as well as my own scare with skin cancers. We grew a year older and in some cases a wiser. We laughed, we cried and we loved.

Yes many things transpired in 2009, some of them joyous and good, others were not. But, through it all it has taught us that life is so precious, and that family and love are the most important things in this life. If we have those in order everything else will fall into place!

So as we close on 2009, I say thank you and look forward to what 2010 my bring. Who knows maybe I'll get that HDTV this year.... (hint hint).

Fall

Yes, I'm back. No the Facebook bandwagon didn't totally take over my body and being and make me some kind of blog-less creature. Almost, but not completely. Yes, I still 'facebook" on a daily basis and keep in touch with all my FB Buddies, but since 2004, this has been my outlet and it continues to be.

Anyway, tell me welcome back and get on with it...

Fall is here in the Queen City. Festivals, harvest parties, and the colors. I love the colors of fall more than any other season. Along with those activties and colors, comes the Haunted Houses. DJ's family are huge haunted house people, and the first of many visits will begin tonight.

So you say welcome back, and I say Welcome Fall!

Mother's Day 2009

There are no words that can give you the full meaning of what my mother means to me and my two brothers, as well as our children.  She is one of the most incredible women that you would ever meet.  She is now getting older and fighting Alzheimer's(but thankfully the medicine is working!) but she is still Mom.

Her love is enduring and without expectations.  She loves us unconditionally, each one of us, including the women her sons married, and the man with whom I have chose to spend my life with.

She loves each one of us, and we know it without her even saying as she shows us in her way.

As I reflect back on my childhood, adolescence and teenage years, there are two strong influencing factors as to who I came to be. my father, and my mom.

Happy Mother's Day Mom!

Almost There

For those of you that have read my blog and/or my sons blog "Adam's Journey" you know that my son was diagnosed in November with Hodgkins Disease. We have been in and out of the hospital for the last six months, clinics, tests, blood work, you name it, he's done it. Today was another long and tiring day at Children's Medical Center. Scans, X-rays, Blood work, more scans, and clinic. But it ended with news that we have been praying for since November when Adam was first diagnosed with Stage 4 Hodgkins. Let me see if I can get the exact words of his oncologist...

"From the preliminary reports of the scans today we see no live spots, which means there is no active cancer cells currently in the areas that previously were active. So from these initial reports we can report that his cancer is currently in remission. This does not mean that there are not tumors, as the tumors in his neck are still there in the lymph nodes and have not shrunk from the last scans, but they are currently inactive. The tumors in his chest area are calcified. There are only two "live" spots showing any indication of activity and these we think are from the infection he had three weeks ago and is not cancer activity."

Adam showed little emotion, but then he has showed little emotion from the onset, that is just his personality. He will still have to undergo the radiation which our first "simulation" is set for April 23rd, but this is just an added deterrent to the cancer and hopefully it will remain in remission. Once radiation is complete, then the scans and tests will be completed again and then the doctors will then determine the next course of action, if any.

Today was an amazing day, and an amazing relief, and proof of our Amazing God.

Continue to pray for continued good news!!

April Showers, Hurry Up with the Flowers!

That is what has been going on here in the Cincinnati area for some time now. Showers!! Dreary, cold dank days. If I didn't know any better I would think we were in London.

Not only is it dreary outside, things have been quite dreary since the start of April emotionally as well. On March 31st, my uncle died unexpectedly at 58 years old. He was for all intents and purposes, normal and healthy. He went running that afternoon, which is his normal morning activity and apparently got into his truck to come home, got down the road and had a massive heart attack in the car. He was found dead by the people in the car behind him when they went to investigate why he went off the road. Needless to say the family is completely devastated.

Things at work are good though, or at least from what I can tell. In this climate of dreary days economically we have plenty of work to keep us busy and maintaining our status quo. Tensions are not anxious as I have heard in some places of employment. SO that is a positive here in these dreary April days.

Even speaking athletically here in Cincinnati, it is dreary as it snowed on Cincinnati Reds Opening day festivities, and then the Reds lost.

So if the old adage is true, April showers bring May flowers, I certainly am looking forward to them blooming!...Do you think we could have them a little early???

March Already!?

It is really hard to believe that it is already March 2009! It could be the fact that it is still cold as December outside. Or it could be with everything going on with Adam and everything else it just seems like it should still be December.

DJ's little sister is expecting her first child in August. This was news that we heard on her birthday, January 2nd, but everyone was keeping it quiet. I never understood that, though. How can you keep a pregnancy quiet? It is going to be obvious sooner of later. Maybe it was because she is 18 and just graduated High School. It may be they wanted it quiet because she is un-married. That no longer seems to be the taboo it was back in the 1950's, so why all the "hush hush". Who knows, but it drama seems to be prevalent in his family, so maybe they just wanted it for the "drama". Anyway her baby will be here in August, then talk about drama!!

Not much happening really, Adam is moving along pretty well. There has been some bumps, but nothing that he can not get over. Other than that it looks as though March is going to be another uneventful month that just passes us by too quickly and we will soon hear me saying...December, Already!?

A Little of Nothing

Not posted in a while, but been pretty busy actually. Adam had clinic last week , so it was a day in the hospital, and then with the weather being bad last week as well and missing work I had a lot of work to catch up on.

We had a crazy ice/snow storm last week, and the drive home which normally takes me 30-45 minutes depending on the traffic took me 4 hours! Yes, FOUR HOURS. It was just crazy. Fortunately by the next morning things were cleaned up at least a little better and it only took me ab hour to get to work.

Adam goes back into the hospital Wednesday-Friday for his next round of chemo and things are going as expected there. He is doing okay, just really tired and is beginning to actually look sick. I think the chemo is finally taking it's toll on him. You can read more updates about his progress on his blog Adam's Journey. Tomorrow is his 16th birthday and I am planning to post a retrospective entry. We celebrated his birthday Saturday, with lunch with Erin at Red Lobster and then Dave and Busters with Silver and his son.

Well that's about it for now, nothing real exciting to share, but make sure you come back, I know soon something will stir around here. It can not go this long without some kind of excitement!!

2009 Update

I know it has been a month since my last real post, however with Adam's diagnosis and hospital visits, the holidays and moving, time has just not allowed me to post as much as I would like. So for a quick update...

ADAM: He is doing very well. He has had two sessions of chemo already and is tolerating them extremely well. The tumors have already went down considerably. At least the ones we can see, the ones in the lung we are not sure of yet. A pet scan is going to be done on the 12th of January and once we get the results we will know if the chemo is doing what it is supposed to be doing. You can follow his journey with Hodgkins at his blog ADAM'S JOURNEY

HOLIDAYS: The same as last year only we are all another year older. Actually Christmas was very nice and it was good to have all the family together again. My daughter came down from Columbus on Christmas Eve, so all four of my kids were here as were my grand kids. It was very nice. DJ and i did not exchange gifts this year, however we did buy some new rings for one another. they are titanium carbide, and look very nice with one single diamond in the center. This is the first time in the almost 9 years we have been together that we have really nice rings.
New Years was uneventful, well not really, but i can not share right now. I will let you know in a few days what the "secret" is. We had a little get together New Years Eve with DJ's family, which is always nice. I enjoy his family and the bond they seem to have. It is good to bring in the new year with them.

MOVING: Yes, we have moved again. Just down the street into a two bedroom apartment. With Adam spending more and more time with us, I felt it was time to get him and J2 their own room to share when they are here. The place is very nice and has not only two bedrooms but two baths as well! That is almost a necessity with four "almost" men in the house.

The Last Month of '08

Here it is already December. The year will soon be coming to an end. A lot has transpired this year, and it seems as though the last week has been a year in itself.

Adam is doing well, and tests are still being done to give the doctors a baseline before starting his chemotherapy. We did receive the results back from his bone marrow tests, and they were negative, so this is good. If you want to read more you can read about his journey on his blog, Adam's Journey. A link can be found over on the right.

DJ will be leaving for Lima, Ohio for two weeks to open a new store. It is only two hours away, so if need be he can be home relatively quick. I was somewhat apprehensive at first about him leaving, but with all the time I have been staying at the hospital, it will be good for him to go and work to keep his mind off of the issues here at home with Adam. I will miss him, but AI am sure we will talk every night and two or three times during the day.

I will also be going back to work myself in a few days. I'm not looking forward to it, but I need to get back for my own sanity as well as for my company. They are very good to me and I want to make sure that I continue to put my best foot forward during this time as well to let them know how much I appreciate their generosity.

So as 2008 comes to a close, this last month holds a lot of unknowns. But as always I will get through them, just one day at a time.

Thanksgiving 08

Our family has a lot to be thankful for, however this year has brought that to an even more vivid reality. We all received a reality check on Tuesday, November 25, 2008. Only four days ago, yet it seems like weeks already. My youngest son, who I have referred to as AT on the blog was diagnosed with Stage IV Hodgkin's Disease. It all began the day before, on Monday when his mother took him to the pediatrician because of a swollen gland in his neck that seemed to get worse instead of better, After some blood work and X-rays, he called them at home and asked them to come back to the office as he needed to talk to them.

The x-ray showed another mass on his chest and the one in his neck was actually three. He recommended that Adam be taken to the Children's Medical center in downtown Cincinnati as soon as possible. So we were on our way.

Tests, CT-Scans, blood tests, more x-rays, more blood tests confirmed our fears. He was going to be in the hospital for quite some time, and more tests were scheduled, and more "spots" were found, this time on his right lung.

The hospital did allow Adam to go home for a few hours on Thanksgiving to enjoy the day with family, but he had to return on Friday for more tests to give the doctors a better idea on how to treat the disease.

Hodgkin's is a caner of the lymph nodes that can travel throughout the body through the lymphatic system. It can spread quickly and hit anywhere in the body. A bone marrow test was completed yesterday and we will receive the results from that on Monday, to determine if it has entered into the bone marrow and how to treat the disease.

Fortunately the disease has been contained in the upper torso area and no other major organs have been effected. The plan is to hit it fast and hard, and by late next week Adam should be undergoing his first session of chemotherapy. The doctors here are great, and the staff is wonderful. Adam seems to be handling the news better than what his mother and I have been. The doctors are saying there is an 80-85% success rate with this form of cancer, and great strides have been made in the treatment. His diagnosis was not what we wanted to hear, however the prognosis is good and we will stay strong and win this battle. You can read about his journey at his blog Adam's Journey.

Change of Routine

The posts have been few and far between. I apologize for that, but honestly the my blogging has taken a back seat to work, DJ and World of Warcraft! I will continue to give bits and pieces of the goings on around here if you are really interested that is.

The last post I had just received word that DJ was going to be gone for two weeks in Montana opening a new store. Well, he is there and I am here. This is the 9th day we have been apart, and just let me tell you this has been one of the hardest things I've had to do. Leaving him at the airport was just heart rendering. Knowing that he is so far away and if something was to happen...I don't even want to think about it.

The third day into his trip he called and said that he had been asked to open a new store in Oregon. I was really pleased and happy for him until I found out when he was going. 4 or 5 days after he got back from Montana. I was a mess for an entire day. My whole world was changing and to be honest I didn't like it. I can handle him being gone from time to time, but back to back with only a few days to be with one another?? I think that would take it's toll on any relationship. We talked about it at length for a few days, over the phone lines and we both decided that it was just too soon to take off again and to be apart. There will be other trips, and when those opportunities come along, I will just have to accept it. But not back to back. I need my man for more than just 4-8 days a month!

It has been quiet and lonely around here without DJ, and I find myself missing him at the most inoportune times. Like 4 in the moring when he is sound asleep (like I should be) Or during the middle of the day when both are working. But soon he will be home (5 more days!!) and things will be back to normal, at least until he goes away again....

Terrible Twos

My grand-daughter Alana turned two today. They grow up so quickly. She is a handful for her mommy, but such a beautiful little girl. Here are some pics of here special day.

Where the Deer and the Antelope Play

Montana...Bozeman, Montana to be exact. What the hell is in Bozeman, Montana? Apparently a new restaurant. One that DJ will be helping open up and train the new employees.

Yes, DJ is leaving for beautiful Bozeman, Montana on the 16th and will be gone until the 3oth!

This is a great opportunity for him and it says a lot about what a great employee he is. He recently opened a store here locally and impressed the coordinator so much that he hand picked DJ to go out to Montana and help open the new franchise out there.

What will I be doing for the 14 days he is out in "Cowboy Country?" Well this isn't about me. It's about DJ, and I fully support him in his career and want to see him be successful. So what will I be doing while he is away in the mountains? Like I said. it's not about me but about DJ and the opportunity he has been afforded and the extra cash he will be bringing in.

No really, how do I feel about it? Honestly? Well, at first I was upset. This will be the first time in 8 years that we have been away from one another for more than one night. And I really hate being alone. But after I thought about it I realized this is an opportunity for him that is incredible and he really wants to do this. So I will learn to live with it, and make lots of long distance phone calls. And it's only for 14 days. It could be 14 weeks. So a new chapter has opened up in our relationship and to be honest, I am really excited for him, and for the both of us. But I'm still allowed to miss him...

18 Again

No I do NOT wish I was 18 again!! Those years were not my best, but it is however my third child's 18th birthday. J2 was born on a really hot July Sunday in 1990. It seems like it was just last week. Now 18 years later, my big brown eyed little man is really becoming a man.

He has been here with me all week, and as I see him I realize that he soon will be own his own, not coming to stay with dad for the weekend, or a week or two in the summer. His days of fun and doing nothing are over and he will have to go out and meet the world head on like the rest of us.

He has one more year of High School left and then it's off to college or the work world. His whole life is ahead of him. Remember that feeling? I know he will do alright, and whatever path life takes him he will do his best. All I hope for him, as with all my children, is I want them to be happy. Life is too short being unhappy. So, Happy Birthday, Son! and remember if the path get's a little rough (which, I am sure it will) I'm here for you, I love you and I'm very proud of you!

Fathers

I try to think that I am a good father. I've done the best I could do, anyway. My kids are all almost grown now, out on their own. Two of them are parents themselves now, trying to be good parents.

Yesterday I was at my gradson's 2nd birthday party, and I watched the fathers there.

I watched my son, with his son. He was patient, understanding and playful with him in a way I don't remember being with my own sons. At least not that I remember. I mean I was patient most of the time, and extremely understanding and I played with my kids, but for some reason it seemed different watching my son do those things.

I also watched my own father who was there. 69 years old and he still expects a hug and a "I love you" before we leave him. Adoring to my mother (who happened to be having her own birthday as well) He took time out of the festivities to take a look at my sons car to help him with air-conditioning, as his words were "You better not drive around in that hot car with no air, with that baby!" Always the father.

I watched others as they were there with their children and step-children. Then I looked over at DJ. There he sat on the floor with my grandson, opening all of his toys, taking them out of the boxes and putting them together as my grandson hands him the boxes and says "opnit". I looked at him with admiration and respect. He was enjoying being in the midst of the chaos, and helping the little guy put the toys together so he could play with them. He too was being fatherly and thinking of Rylan first.

Something very special happened in that moment as I watched him play with my grandson and watched Rylan's eyes at "Nad" (that is what he calls Dan, he says his words backwards.) I realized not only what a great person, and great man he is, but also what a great dad he is to my own children and grandchildren. Something else happened yesterday that also made me realize how others see Dan in our family. My daughter-in-law was making introductions as there was family members from her side of the family as well. She introduced Dan as... "Joe's dad's husband, Dan" It sounded a little funny at first, but her saying it and introducing him that way, it really made him part of the family.

Fathers Day is a special day and not just because I am a father. It can show us not just who the fathers are, but it also shows is the DADS. Anyone can be a father, just a few moments of pleasure and a child can be conceived and you become a father, but it takes a real man to be a Daddy. And you also don't have to be a natural father to be a Dad.

Happy Daddy's Day!