Rules? There are Rules to Dating??

Well, I have a date. A first date. It's been a while since I had a date.  I mean a real date, like going to dinner, conversation and getting to know someone date. Not sure if I remember how it's done... Surely it will come back to me... So here are my rules of a first date.

 

1. Don't let him carry the conversation:
There is surely something you can talk about and share in the conversation, don't let him have the whole night, this is my date too!
2.  Do not be a conversation hog:
I need to learn to be comfortable with pauses in the conversation; I don't need to fill the silence with words. He is sizing me up and thinking, even if it appears that he is doing nothing. He also doesn't want my life story in one sitting, Lord knows I could tell it. But I need to leave some mystery for him to discover over time.
3. Don't discuss past relationships:
Even if the last relationship was a good, which mine was, this is not the time to discuss.  If You trash talk the ex, that will leave a bad taste in his mouth, and if you talk to kindly and well of the ex, he may get the idea that you are still hung up on him. Don't ask him about his past relationships either, he will tell you in time...if there is another time.
4. Don't Get too heavy:
No reason to discuss, politics, religion, world affairs, this is a first date, get to know one another first. These things will come up later, again if there is a later.
5. Be Myself:
No reason to put on 'airs" or be something I am not. Be who I am, if he likes that fine, if not fine, at least I am not being someone I am not. Have to be honest with myself!

So with all that said, I am looking forward to this date. He is the one that has made all the prompts, so we will see how things go.

To Date or Not to Date...That is the Question

It's been almost a year since Dan and I broke up, and recently I've been thinking about dating again.  I mean seriously looking for someone to date. More than a one night stand, or a FWB. Someone special.

Well it's not as easy as I first thought it was going to be.  I mean a lot has changed in eleven years, which was the last time I went on a date.  There was the Internet 11 years ago, but online dating was in it's infancy, and many of the guys that were on those sites were not ones you would have wanted to take home to meet your mother...or pets.  However, now the Internet is flooded with gay dating sites and even apps for your phones.  There is gay.com, okcupid.com, grindr, scruff, adam4adam, growlr...and the list goes on and on, even craigslist has an man 4 man option for personal ads.  Some are true dating sites, but most a "hook-up" sites.  What happened to going out to the bars, or other social venues and find a nice guy?

Then there are the "types" of guy your looking for, or attracted to.  Do I want a twink, or bear, or sissy girl, or leather man.  Hell I just want a date!  Then there is the age thing... yes we in the gay community are very selective.  If you are 21 to 30, you don't want to date someone in their 50's.  A guy 50+ is like dating your grandfather! (Yes, I was told that)  If your 35 to 40, you also don't want to date someone over 50.  Why? Because they are wanting someone their age or younger, someone they can relate to.  And most of the guys that are 45-55? Well they are looking for some hot young stud to make them feel younger. So where do I fit in, in all of this?  I don't know, you tell me! I'm not picky about age. Well anywhere from 25 to 55,  I think that is a broad enough age difference. As far as my type? He just needs to be a gay man, that is established, employed and decent. Not so much into "types" either.

I was just hoping to jump back out there in the dating pool and find Mr. Right and settle back down in the daily grind with someone at my side. But do I really? Do I really want that?  Am I ready for another relationship?  Will I ever be ready for another relationship? Today I am not sure. But what I do know is that I do not like dating any more that I did 11 years ago.  It's hard, and painful, and it causes me to think WAY too much.  So what do I do?  I think the answer is plain and simple and it was said to me 11 years ago.  Just stop looking and thinking so much about it. If it happens it happens.

So for now I will continue to check the dating sites I have signed up on, and I will continue to meet and talk to guys when the opportunity arises. But I am not going to dwell on not having a boyfriend.  I am going to date myself, enjoy my friends and family and when it's right....well you know the rest of it.