Time Has Made Changes

 

August 2025? How can this even be reality!? Five years since the last post and over 21 years since I started this blog!, let me tell you ALOT of changes have taken place. 

1. RETIREMENT: Last year I was "forced" into retirement. After ten years with the company, they said they no longer would need me as my position had been consolidated. So, instead of looking for work, I chose to retire.

2. FAMILY: In 2023 I lost my mother to cancer. She had deteriorated from Alzheimer's to the point that we had to place her in a care facility. In September of 2023 she was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer that had metastasized into her stomach, bladder, and kidneys. They said she had about 30 days and on the 28th day from her diagnoses, she passed. Father is still here, living at home and as active as he can be for 86. My 4 kids are 33 and up to 44... My grandchildren are 19, 19, 17 and the youngest just turned 5. Time is moving by at a pace that I have a hard time keeping up. 

3. FLORIDA: In May of this year I relocated to Pensacola, Florida. I mean why not, right? I'm 65, retired, isn't that what we do at 65? It came as a surprise when DJ and B decided they wanted to sell the house and buy in Florida. We thought over it for a long time, and after dealing with family opinions and much thought, we put the house on the market and moved to the Sunshine State.

4. LOKI: Loki is my companion, friend, baby and the reason for my sanity or the loss of it. He is a shiatzu / bichon mix (what they call a "Teddy Bear" dog.) I adopted him in 2021, and he is an integral part of me. 

Those are the four biggest changes over the last five years. The other change would be me. I've turned almost completely white-headed, had another mild stroke in 2022, and I am beginning to see those tell, tell signs of aging. For the most part I am healthy in mind, body and spirit and enjoying the sunshine and my new home. 

Hopefully I will post more often, but I'm not making any promises. Maybe at least one a month?

We'll see...

Last Chapter of 2009

We are coming to the close of another year and with it the close of another chapter of our lives. This was my 49th year and during this year many things took place and changes were made in our lives that will effect us from now on. My son Adam's battle raged on in 2009 and finally by December a reprieve has come as his tumors have shrunk, are not active and in remission. We had loss with the death of an uncle unexpectedly at 59, and DJ's grandfather at the age of 70. We had wedding engagements, Anniversaries and new babies, as my parents celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in July and Dan became an Uncle with the birth of his Nephew, Jayden in August. We also had breakups as my daughter moved back home with her two girls to start off on her own again after 7 years. Health issues continued to rear its ugly head as my diabetes continued to spiral out of control, and finally became controllable only to find out that I may be in the early stages of Andropause...yes that is male menopause and its real, as well as my own scare with skin cancers. We grew a year older and in some cases a wiser. We laughed, we cried and we loved.

Yes many things transpired in 2009, some of them joyous and good, others were not. But, through it all it has taught us that life is so precious, and that family and love are the most important things in this life. If we have those in order everything else will fall into place!

So as we close on 2009, I say thank you and look forward to what 2010 my bring. Who knows maybe I'll get that HDTV this year.... (hint hint).

April Showers, Hurry Up with the Flowers!

That is what has been going on here in the Cincinnati area for some time now. Showers!! Dreary, cold dank days. If I didn't know any better I would think we were in London.

Not only is it dreary outside, things have been quite dreary since the start of April emotionally as well. On March 31st, my uncle died unexpectedly at 58 years old. He was for all intents and purposes, normal and healthy. He went running that afternoon, which is his normal morning activity and apparently got into his truck to come home, got down the road and had a massive heart attack in the car. He was found dead by the people in the car behind him when they went to investigate why he went off the road. Needless to say the family is completely devastated.

Things at work are good though, or at least from what I can tell. In this climate of dreary days economically we have plenty of work to keep us busy and maintaining our status quo. Tensions are not anxious as I have heard in some places of employment. SO that is a positive here in these dreary April days.

Even speaking athletically here in Cincinnati, it is dreary as it snowed on Cincinnati Reds Opening day festivities, and then the Reds lost.

So if the old adage is true, April showers bring May flowers, I certainly am looking forward to them blooming!...Do you think we could have them a little early???

I See Dead People...

In my dreams. Not like right now, here in front of me, but in my dreams. The last week or so I have been dreaming about people I once knew that are now dead. In my dreams they are not dead and it is not a dream where it happened before they died, but in the current time. I am the age I am now, regardless of how old I was when they actually died.

Normally dreams are not a big deal to me, but many times I have had dreams of loved ones that have died, and then I hear that they actually have died, like a premonition. But these are different types of dreams, these are of people that are already dead, some of them for a very long time. So I decided I needed to have these dreams interpreted, so off to the world wide web!

Each link I found regarding dreaming of dead people, told me a different reason as to why I was seeing dead people in my dreams. Some said that it was my mind telling me I no longer needed these people or the relationship I once had. No shit?! They are dead, I certainly do not have a relationship with these people any longer.

Another said that I was dreaming of these dead people to warn me not to make the same mistakes they did. Okay...one lady was killed by her husband, another lived to be 92, what mistakes did they make that I need to avoid? Living to be 92 or being with a psychotic?

Overall after reading these many interpretations of why we dream of dead people I come to the conclusion that no one really knows why. So I am going to take my grandmother's interpretation (yes, she is now dead, and yes she was one of the people I dreamed about) She always told me that "When you dream of someone who has died, they are just paying you a visit."

I know that sound kind of eery, but I like it.

Life is Short

Life is short. We hear that all the time. Sometimes as a kid I heard that and thought, how could life be so short? It seemed as though life moved so slowly as a child. Remember how your four years in High School seemed to be an eternity and you didn't think graduation was EVER going to happen?

Now I look back on those days and I realize that it has been 30 years since I graduated and I say to myself, "Where did it go?, Life is so short."

Today was another one of those days when I said those words. Back in the early 90's I became close with a very dear family. Two sisters. One was married with twin sons, the other sister was single and devoted to God and her church. My wife, at the time, spent a great deal of time with this family. The unmarried sister became a surrogate mother to our children, as she was with us almost ever day. Many times staying overnight.

The other sister, we were not as close to, but we still were close. Her husband and her boys were her life, and she worked very hard at trying to make sure that her family was taken care of. She never worked outside of the home, and her husband didn't make a lot of money, but they always seemed to manage and you could tell that they enjoyed their life. Their twin sons were polar opposites, one was out going, active and always working, the other was a backward, introverted young man that stayed close to mom and home.

A few years ago, the youngest sister died after a hard fought battle with cancer. My kids were shaken by her death, as she was such a vital part of their growing up. About two years later her sister died, both died young, not even in their sixties yet.

Like most, life went on for the father and two sons. The outgoing son married had children, divorced and continued to work hard. The introverted son became more outgoing, worked hard and made a home for himself and also eventually married. The father also re-married and began a new life.

This afternoon my mother called me at work and reminded me how short life is. The outgoing, active, gregarious son had died. He was only 33. Thirty three years, so young and so much life that should have been ahead for him. He had two small children and was soon to be remarried. His entire life he struggled with juvenile diabetes, and even though I am not sure, I would assume it finally took it's toll on his body.

Yesterday it seems I watched that young man be baptised, start driving, grow into a strong hard working young man, and today he is gone. Yes, life is short.

For some even shorter than it should be.

Tragic Hollywood News

Heath Ledger was found dead Tuesday at a downtown Manhattan apartment, and police said drugs may have been a factor. The Australian-born actor was 28. Police said Ledger was naked in his bed with an unknown number of sleeping pills near the body.Ledger had an appointment for a massage at a residence in the tony SoHo neighborhood, NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said. A housekeeper who went to let him know the massage therapist had arrived found him dead at 3:26 p.m.

One of this generations most outstanding, multi-facted and talented stars has faded away too soon.

Another Goodbye

Today my cousins said goodbye to their mother. The glue that held them together. My Aunt Joyce was always a small little lady, but a strong one. She was the epitome of strong. One of the strongest women I was ever blessed to have in my life. She married my uncle, a young service man, just starting out in the Airforce. She left her home and family to travel with him across the country as he served in Korea and Vietnam. She mothered five children, each one grew up and gained some of her strength. During those years she remained strong, being a mother and wife, but enjoying life. That she did. She enjoyed her life, she loved her life and dearly loved her family.

She lost her mother at a young age, but remained strong. Later in life, a few years ago she lost a son. Something a mother nor any parent should have to do, bury a child. But even in this she continued to remain strong. Through her own brain surgery in her 40's, through the illness that plagued and finally took her husband, and then to her own struggle over the past few years with the cancer that finally took it's toll. She fought every one of those battles with a determination and strength that others only wished they had.

Many of the women in my life have been strong women, but Aunt Joyce was truly one of the strongest. I thank God for the blessing of her in my life. The strength she showed me, the love she gave me and the compassion she shared with me.

I can not even to begin to imagine how her family must feel today, but I know if they learnt anything from their mother, they are being strong. Showing their strength... no her strength, in a time of pain.

Another Goodbye

My best friend, Silver had to say goodbye to his father today. After a brief illness and complications from surgery his father passed early this morning. Yesterday they had to make the decision to turn off the life support that had been sustaining him the past few days.

I can not even begin to imagine his pain and loss. I've lost my grandparents, as has DJ just recently, but a parent? His father was two years younger than my own father, and 66 is not that old in this day in time. I hurt for him, but I also don't know what to say or how to comfort. All I can do is just be there in the upcoming weeks when he needs me. He had to tell his own son today. How does one do that? I can not even begin to understand. Thankfully he and his father reconciled some time ago after a falling out. Today he just told me to tell my parents how much I love them. Which I did. I even went over and spent the evening with them.

I hurt for you Silver, and hope the next few days are as painless as they can be. And when it is all over just remember the good times and also remember that there are good friends here to help you through.

Saying Goodbye

Death is never easy to deal with. Saying goodbye to someone that you love and has been part of your life for so long is an emotional roller coaster. But death is part of life, and it comes when least expected.

DJ's grandmother passed on Saturday in her sleep, at age 82. Even though that is the best way to go, and she lived a long life it doesn't make it easier. This is the first death of an immediate family member that he has had to deal with. Needless to say he is full of emotion and quieter than normal. His parents divorced when he was 8, and he would spend a lot of time with his father's parents over the next 10 years. They filled in when his father didn't.

Tuesday they will say their goodbyes, but not to the memories or the heartache.