There's Gold In Them There Hills

Today I met two gay men. A Couple. Matthew and Darren Mahone. Matthew was a ruggedly built 40ish black male and Darren was a lithe 30-something white male. They called to rent a trailer that would carry what belongings they had left after selling everything, to go to California. It kind of reminded me of the Gold Rush in the 1800's where everyone sold what they had to start over in the west and with dreams of gold in their eyes. Matthew and Darren looked that way today. The only difference between them and the men that went to California in the 1800's is that Matthew and Darren were a gay couple. They derived their last name from a mixture of both of their previous last names that they were born with. They wore matching wedding bands and finished each other's sentences. They decided that it was time in their relationship to start over. Together for six years they decided they wanted something different, but with each other. Darren who was originally from Florida and Matthew who was raised in several different states, decided on California. They seemed happy, excited and full of hope of something new. In a way I envied them.

DJ and I are happy. Very happy. After almost 5 years I feel that our relationship is still growing and maturing. We experience new things every day together. Last night for instance was something new and really exciting, but that is for another time, and not to discuss on the blog! But, lately my routine is getting the best of me. Getting up, going to work, coming home, having dinner, watching TV together, getting on the computer, staying up way too late, going to bed and then doing it all over again. But moving to California would not change my routine. But I still was a little green about Matthew and Darren. I really don't know why, but it seemed they had something.

When I came home tonight DJ and I did our normal routine, (in the midst of packing for our move on Saturday) and then he started to bed, and I of course am on the computer. He came in kissed me goodnight and went to bed. I watched him walk to the bedroom, call for Willow and I saw something. Something that has always been there, but I just hadn't looked in a while. Strength, Love, Devotion, Stability and Peace. Suddenly I didn't feel envious of Matthew and Darren anymore. I have all I need. He is what I need. He is what I've needed since I was a child. Hell, I don't have to move clear across the country to find that. I have it right here. I'll have it next week when we move clear across the city to our new place, and I pray I'll have for years to come.

So I decided tonight that I'm starting over. Not in a big way. But in myself. Change my routine. Devote more energy to DJ, my kids, my family and my friends. Those are the things that are important and what keep us going. Matthew and Darren are starting over in a new city and state. Good for them I wish them all the best. I'm starting over in a new attitude and a new routine. Sometimes we need that.

I'm glad I saw what I had tonight. Thanks Matthew and Darren for making me realize that again. I hope you boys find gold out there in California, I've already found mine.