Testosterone Check

I read Hot Toddy's post for Friday and realized the same is true for myself. I don't see myself as the flaming kitchen queen, nor the brawny lad butch gay type of guy. I'm just your average Joe or as most see me... as "Jack". Not so much anymore, as I have aged somewhat and I have toned down the "flapping"(some little thing I do with my hands that I did as a child and it carried through into my middle age). But if you would have seen me today at DJ's grandparent's house, you'd want to do a testicle testosterone check for sure.

There I sat in a recliner, all stretched out in oblivion (due to eating way too much Easter Ham) watching the UK / Michigan State game. The odd thing? I was enjoying it!! I was yelling and getting all worked up over a bunch of college guys running back and forth across a hardwood floor, bouncing a ball and trying to shoot it in a basket. Now under normal circumstances that would work me up because they are college guys, in shorts. (although I do like the ones that they wore back in the 80's better than those loose fitting things they wear now)
Today it was not their hot sweaty bodies or their young sweet virginal faces that got me going. It was actually the game itself. Here I sat in a room full of "redneck willies" and DJ's sister (who is a major sports freak) getting into a basketball game. I not only enjoyed it, I understood it! Now the team I was rooting for lost, but that was okay. I will probably not watch another game for another 45 years, so it really doesn't matter. I was learning the players names, their stats, even what year of school they were in. I pinched myself twice to make sure I wasn't having a night mare.

I finally determined my decline into this strange reality.
I was in a food coma. I had eaten so much food and Easter candy it had knocked my equilibrium off and I was in a full fledged hallucinogenic coma. I was dreaming I was heterosexual.

That is the only explanation.

By the way Kentucky played a great game until that second overtime period. They wouldn't shoot. You need to shoot the damn ball to score points guys, overtime IS NOT the time to run the clock out when your behind...

Looking Toward the Future

I am SO looking forward to my day off tomorrow! This has been a week from hell. Well except for sharing my anniversary of course. I was in a funk the first part of the week. You know what I mean. BLAH. Not wanting to talk to anyone or do anything. I was depressed and vile.

Wednesday I went and picked up my youngest son AT from his sister's where he had spent the first part of his spring vacation. I had dinner with my princess and DJ and AT and I met our "grand-child". No she didn't have a baby, she bought a dog. His name is Petey, and he is a a replica of Paris Hilton's new boy toy. (I love his blog by the way...PINK is the new Blog is fantastic!) Petey comes complete with his own wardrobe and goes everywhere with Princess and her BF A-Hole.

Thursday was quiet and my other son J2 got here and from there the week went into sour mode. Friday I got into a major yelling match with my employer, threw the office keys to her and walked out. But my boys were there to calm me down and make me realize I needed the job, and go back in. (They enjoy those bi-weekly child support checks I guess,)

But I've had it with work. I'm done. I've been there over a year, and I have not had a day off since. Well unless you count the day I laid in bed all day puking my guts out, or the day I had to go to the hospital to visit my son in the ER. Monday thru Saturday. Six days a week, for almost 400 days. Not to mention I do nothing right, or the way SHE wants it done. Plus the fact that I have to clean up after 9 cats and her useless 41 year old son. I put a garbage can outside for him to place his daily trash into. What does he do? he sits the bag of garbage NEXT TO THE CAN!!!
So when I arrive to work the next morning it is all over the front of the office, and customers have to walk through it to get into the door. I told her I refuse to clean it up, anymore. Period. Fuck him. He has never worked a day in his life and treats her and the entire family like THEY are the ones with a problem. Talks to his mother like she is shit underneath his toenails. I refuse to do it anymore. So my long awaited, deserved vacation is April 11 and I WILL be looking for a new place of employment.

Enough of that. Today I took my sons back home, met with my oldest son J1 and his girlfriend and took pleasure in knowing that my children have all turned out pretty damn good. (Very little help from me I may add). So tomorrow? A day off... what will I do?

I think I hear the theme from SIMS2 University in my head...

Happy Anniversary

Happy Anniversary To Us!
Four years today, on March 23, 2001, DJ and I united together in a commitment ceremony. (I don't like that picture of me, but it's the only one that looked good enough to put on the blog. I have no goatee there, and I look REALLY old.)

We met a few months earlier of all places, a bar. Go figure. Gay guys meeting in a bar, who'd thunk it? Right away we clicked. Call it fate, karma, kizmet, whatever. It was the right person at the right time, in both of our lives. We were living together less than a month after our first meeting. At the time I thought he was much older and he thought I was much younger. But it didn't matter to us when we found out that there was 20 years between us. Everyone said it would not last because of our age difference. "What do you have in common?" Everyone asked. At the time the only thing we had in common was our love for one another, but four years later we are very much alike.

How you ask?
Well before DJ I had never watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We now own every season on DVD and I have seen every episode at least twice. Not counting Angel, Charmed and a whole host of other Fantasy/Sci-Fi DVD's. Most of the movies I watched were drama...you know girlie movies. Thanks to DJ we now have a very eclectic selection of movies that includes Sci-Fi and Horror (his favorites) as well as my girlie movies.

We also share a love of cats. We now have three of our own and we adore them. I was always a dog person, as was he, but it seems that the feline variety of pets suits us more.

I was never one big on camping. You know bugs, sleeping in a tent, bugs, and all those other things that could crawl in your tent at night while you are asleep. Now, we enjoy camping. The seclusion and nature. (Plus sex in a tent is awesome!)

DJ was always the grounded one. Stable. Reliable. He still is, and because of that, I too have become more stable and reliable. He manages the finances, so I can say that.

There is so much more that we share and have in common. We've grown together in ways I never thought possible.

Not that we haven't had our problems. We have. Mostly due to my fits of jealously, which after four years I realize was unfounded and a useless emotion. But we have had some tough times. Me loosing my job a few years ago at a law firm and being the main income earner was devastating, but he never gave up on me. He stood with me and supported my dreams of becoming a writer. Even though it made me no $$.

Some of my friends say they never thought this could have happened to me. Settle down with one guy. But I can not imagine my life any other way.
Age is not an issue.
Jealousy is not an issue.
Pride is not an issue.
Money is not an issue.
What we have is mutual respect and admiration. Unconditional Love.

It's out there guys. I found him, and he found me.

So, Happy Anniversary DJ. I love you More.
(see all those girlie dramatic movies do pay off!)

One Dimensional

I've always prided myself on the fact that I try to be the same person regardless of whom I am with or where I am. But I realized something Saturday night while out with DJ, and his sister and friends. I am not one dimensional. Meaning I could not be the same person with them as say I would be at work, or with my family. Hell I'm a totally different person with my family. I mean I'm still me, but there are so many things about me that I would never let my family see, or my children for that matter. At work I am different even more so. Why is that? Why can't we be the same wherever we are or who ever we are with.

Well I wouldn't talk about my sexual exploits with my mother. But I sure told the stories Saturday to DJ's sister and friends. But then I would discuss my kids with them? Or would I? Well yeah. I know I wouldn't tlak about penis size with my employer, but I have no problem talking about to "Budlight" and her girls. So is it wrong, or just tactful. I'd say I'm not one dimensional, Hey I guess I could say I am Multi-Facetted. That's a good thing. Right?

Happy St. Patty's

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Fact & Fiction

FICTION:
It seems as though the Vatican is having a bit of a problem with Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code. Now that the best selling novel is making it's way to the big screen, the Catholic Church is not happy. Do they really think this is the first time that the story of Jesus and Mary Magdalene relationship has been brought into question? I read Daughter of God in 2000, three years before Dan Brown's novel.

Their reasons (or so they say) are that people will believe this story and in their words..."destroying Catholics' religious faith". Maybe they should worry more about their pedophile priests. And if I recall when I purchased my copy of one of the best books I've ever read (The Da Vinci Code) I found it in the aisle marked FICTION.

FACT:
As posted yesterday, I went to the theater last night with Silver Fox to see Big River. I must say, I was enthralled. This production by Deaf West, was one of the best I've seen. It is based on Mark Twain's fictional book, Huckleberry Finn, set to music. But that's not the best part of it. Most of the cast are deaf or hearing impaired. The sign language is part of the production, as each actor signs their lines, including their songs. At first it was a little hard to follow as the voice of some of the main characters were off stage, or being spoken by someone else. But within a few short minutes you are so wrapped up in the acting, and the music that you don't even notice anymore. We were able to see the Opening Night performance here in Cincinnati, and it closed with a well deserved standing ovation. The acting, the music, and the flow of the production was outstanding.
Most notable is David Aron Damane, whose deep, rich voice rumbles feelingly through the exultant "Free at Last." He also combines harmonies with Adam Monley, who supplies the voice for Huck on "River in the Rain," "Muddy Water" and "Worlds Apart."
I would recommend to see this show when it comes to your town.

Also, get your own copy of the Da Vinci Code in bookstores (including some Catholic bookstores)near you. You will find it in the Fiction section.

A Few Good Men

Going to the Broadway Series tonight with Silver Fox to see "Big River". It has been several years since my last visit to the Aronoff Center to watch a play. The last was in 1999 when Phantom of the Opera was in town. I was with Silver that night too. But he was with Veruca then, and I found a lame date to take with me. One of Silver's friends. It seemed I dated a lot of his friends back then. There was the guy that night, "Big Hair Skinny Guy". I call him that because his hair had not yet made it into the 1990's yet, he was still sporting that 80's look.

Then there was T, I dated him about 10 months. I met him through Silver as well. I think Silver had a thing for his ex at one time. Anyway, he and I parted ways the weekend Princess Di was killed. After him I dated another one of Silver's friends, "Teach". he was a High School French teacher, and a very great guy, it just wasn't working for me though. At the time he was not out and he would only take me out with him when we were not in his town. I understood that, but it was too much for me.

I think that was all of Silver's friends that I actually dated. Now I do think I slept with some others, but I don't remember too much about them if I did. One I thing I did finally learn, but maybe a bit late. Never date a friend of a friend. It never goes well. After those episodes, I started finding my own friends to date.

Think badly of me? Listen before you pass judgment, Cincinnati is not that big of a city and, even fewer available gay men. Most of which I will see tonight at the show.

Gone Country

For the past few days I've had my car radio tuned into the local Country Stations. I'm not sure why, not that I am not a fan of country music, as I am, but normally I listen to the top 40 stations. But lately I am enjoying the country sound reverberating from my radio.

Last night on the way from picking DJ up at work and coming home we had a discussion about country music. Well Male Country Stars actually. I made the comment that I always thought John Michael Montgomery was HOT! DJ agreed with me with a very gutteral "mmmhmmm". He then said he always thought that Clay Walker was hot. Which I agreed, and even more so now than when he first arrived on the country music scene.

Then I mentioned I thought Alan Jackson was good looking and DJ's response was...

"He always grossed me out. He reminds me of a mixture between my Dad and my Uncle Dave."

Oh my God, I will never look at Alan Jackson the same again. Resemblence to his dad I can see, and that's not bad, DJ's dad is good looking I guess, but his Uncle David!? GROSS GROSS GROSS. I will never be able to listen to Chatahoochee again.

But when it is all said and done, there is no one that is hotter than Tim McGraw.

What do you think?

Technicolor Dream

Been having one of those reaccuring technicolor dreams lately. I've had it now three nights running, and it begins where it left off the night before. It takes place in the past, during the Blizzard of '78, which would have been my senior year in High School. The problem is everyone in my dream is the age they would have been in 1978, but I'm my current age. Anyway, me and my best friend at the time, Mark are walking in the 16" of snow. We are looking for someone who is lost, but he refuses to tell me who we are looking for. We find several people, but it is never the one he says that we need to find. We found his girlfriend at the time (who died back this past January), we found my brother, his sister, and then we starting finding people that I didn't even know in 1978, but know them now. People like DJ, my oldest son J1, Veruca and Silver Fox. So far after three nights of the same dream, we still have not found this mystery person.

It is eery. I just want to know if there is some meaning to all of it, and what will happen when we do find this person. Will I stop having the dream? Who knows. Our minds are strange things, aren't they?

Been quite a bit of crime in our area this week. A young boy of 18 shot two other teenagers yesterday less than three blocks from where I work. All of them are High School Students. They are still looing for the one responsible for the shooting. Earlier this past week a 4 year old was killed when he was shot with a gun, accidentallly, but no gun has yet to be found, and no one is giving any information. The judge has stated that if people don't start talking he is going to issue arrests. Crime is bad, but it just seems worse when it involves kids. I finally quit listening or watching the news this week, as it became too depressing. Sometimes it seems as though we are living in a technicolor dream

Well all except for Michael Jackson's PJ stunt. Now that was comedy.

Hey Mom, Remember Me?

I had always prided myself (notice I use the past tense of the verb, I did it on purpose, not a grammatical error, well maybe just a little) on being the perfect son. That of course was before I left my wife and four kids, came out of the closet and told them I was gay and had fallen in love with a younger man. Yet, my mother and I always seemed to be on the same plane. We were soul mates. We shared everything. Well almost. I always felt that I was her favorite son. Even though I know she loves the three of us equally. But after this week I have finally faced reality. I am just one of her three sons, al be it the firstborn, but still just one of her sons. Here is the story...

Mom calls on Monday evening, at 9:30. That in itself is scary because she normally goes to bed at 8pm. Not that she is old or anything, she has to get up to go to work at 5:00 am. So when the phone rang and caller ID said Mommy I was a little concerned

Mom: Hi, Michael? (yes she confuses my voice with DJ's, she can't tell her own son's voice from his lover. That should have been my first clue.)
Fav. Son: Mom? What's wrong? Someone die?
Mom: No! Why do you say that?
Fav Son: Well normally you are in bed by now, and if you call this late something must be wrong.
Mom: No, I just thought I'd call and let you know about Dad.
Fav Son: Dad? What's wrong with Dad?
Mom: About his surgery, everything came out ok.
Not So Fav Son: SURGERY??!! What Surgery?
Mom: You know I told you about it...didn't I?
NSFS: Uh...no, what surgery, is everything ok?
Mom: I thought I told you are you sure I didn't tell you. I really think I did.
NSFS: No Mom, what surgery!!!
Mom: Oh that mole he had on his ear lobe. The doctor did a biopsy on it last week and it was cancerous, so they removed it.
NSFS: THEY REMOVED HIS EAR LOBE!!???
Mom: No, Michael , the mole, they removed it. Are you sure I didn't tell you?
NSFS: No, mom you didn't tell me. So he is okay though?
Mom: Yeah he is fine, a little sore, but it wasn't deep so it was all taken care of. So are you coming Saturday?
NSFS: Saturday? What about Saturday?
Mom: Don't tell me I didn't tell you about Saturday.
NSFS: NO MOM, What is Saturday?
Mom: Michael I told you about Saturday.
NSFS: WHAT ABOUT SATURDAY!?
Mom; Well I'm sure I told you. It's your aunt and uncle's 50th Wedding anniversary party at the American Legion Hall. So you are coming right?
NSFS: Well I would have, if someone would have told me about it.
Mom: Michael I told you.
NSFS: No Mom, you didn't tell me.
Mom: Well I'm sure I did, but you're coming right?
NSFS: Well no, I have to work until 4 Saturday, what time is it?
Mom: You have to work? You can't get off? It's at 1:00. Are you sure I didn't tell you?
NSFS: No, Mom, again, you didn't tell me. And no I can not get off now, it's too late to get someone in to work for me.
Mom: Well try and come, it should still be going on by the time you get off work.
NSFS: Probably not mom,it's an hour away from me. I get off at 4 and by the time I get there it will be after 5.
Mom: Yeah your right. Well I'll tell them you send their love.

Yeah thanks mom, tell them that for me, that is if you don't forget.

My favorite aunt and uncle and I can not be there to celebrate this milestone in their lives, because I wasn't told about it in time. I know she didn't not tell me on purpose. My mother is becoming more and more forgetful as the days continue, but it still hurts. Makes me feel like I'm a red-headed step child or something. Not that she means to.
I mean I know that I am her favorite.

Link-less

I was awaken this morning at 7:15 a.m. by a doorbell. I don't even remember what 7:15 looks like anymore. I grabbed my robe and went to the door. It was an electrician. And not a very good looking one I may add. Or that may have been due to the fact that my eyes had not had time to focus. I knew nothing about an electrician, Lady L, our landlady had not notified us of anyone coming, so I told him he would have to come back or call the owner. I went back to bed, cuddled under the warmth of the blankets and DJ and tried to go back to sleep, but to no avail. Thanks in part to Cordelia. She has turned into the bitch cat from hell. And she decided to play hide and seek with my toes. Then Xander decided it was time for us to get up, so he came to the bed and began to meow.

Okay, Okay I get the message. I got up. Decided I'd read up on some of the bloggers on my links, only to find out that they were gone. I was Link-Less!! Thank goodness I put them in my favorites. So I suppose Blogroll is down or something, as I can not even get to the web site. So for now I'm link-less. So I went and took my shower and got to work 25 minutes earlier than I normally do. It was actually nice. No rushing around trying to get things done before we unlock the doors for business.

Went to dinner at Allyn's Cafe last night with Veruca. First time I had been there and I must say I enjoyed it. Not a big fancy cafe, but more like a neighborhood bar & grill. The food was exceptionally good, well the chicken fingers and cheese fries anyway. Their drinks were strong, but not expensive and of course the conversation was good. It had been a while since Veruca and I had a girl's night out, and it was nice. We caught up with each other and then went back to his place and had a glass of wine and more conversation. Then I sent him to the link of Fred Durst's penis, only to find out that Mr. Durst is filing suit against those that stole his piece of video, and the links were dead. Sorry Veruca, but you didn't really miss much. Looks like Fred is link-less as well.

I have my sons this weekend, so trying to find something to do, other than hanging out at the house playing Sims2. So this morning after I got to work I began searching the net for events in the area that my sons and myself might enjoy. Again, links down!! What is wrong today, is the internet having a malfunction, or had their been a major terrorist virus sent into all computers in the land not allowing you to use links? Or was it my new computer on the fritz, or worse, virus laden??? Now I'm worried. I ran defrag and virus scan, and anything else I could think of, but still no link ability. I am totally link-less!!

What did we do before the days of World Wide Web?

Friends

Well yesterday was Tuesday and the new releases came out, so I made my way straight to Target yesterday after work and purchased Season Nine of Friends.

DJ and I watched the first four episodes and totally laughed our asses off. All four of the first four episodes was great. This was the season that we missed due to our jobs at the time, so they were all fresh for us. The first episode "The One Where No One Proposes" was great. I am looking forward to our evenings together hanging out with our friends at Central Perk.

Speaking of friends. Tonight Veruca and I are going to dinner. I haven't really had time to sit down with him in quite sometime and just talk. I miss that, but we both have been busy and it just seems we don't get together as often as we used to.

The same seems true with Silver Fox. The winter has been difficult for us to get together. Mainly due to the fact of our mental state. Winter brings about depression and it seems that I would prefer to just come home and "veg". Silver has been on the road quite a bit with work, so our time together has been limited. Hopefully we can get together this weekend and hang out with our boys.

Friends are something that we sometimes take for granted, and we shouldn't. I have two very great best friends and I need to spend more time with them, and be part of their lives. Why we don't I don't understand, but now that spring is on it's way, maybe I can change that.

Where's the Ethics?

I am sick to death of all the media attention that is buzzing around Martha Stewart. Unlike some gay men I can not stand the lady. Nothing personal, I just think that she is not all that. The woman was a tried, convicted liar, thief and cheat. Although she still holds that she did nothing wrong. Where's the humility in all that? Last week every TV station and broadcast news reports shown here coming home from prison. I remember the day when the news reported heroes coming home, like the men that went to the moon, Presidents that finished their term and went back home to retire and live out their days. Or the ticker tape parades for service men coming home from war. We've now lowered ourselves to report a convicted fraud returning to her 16 million dollar estate.

I understand now that she is going to be teaching a business class!! I'm sure the ethics of business will not be one of the subjects. Then she is going to be on Apprentice?? What is this? I never watched the show before, and I'm certainly not going to watch it now. We have made her out to be a hero and a great business mind. Excuse me, she is a convicted thief. Or did everyone forget about that? I just don't understand where ethics and morals have disappeared to in this country.

Quiet Weekend

Quiet peaceful weekend.
No parties to attend, no family gatherings.
Nothing scheduled to take place.
I like those kind.
That's what I had this weekend.

I worked of course Saturday, but DJ came in with me, which made the day go by so much faster, and more pleasant. We went out to eat after work and then home. Sunday I slept in and then cleaned house for four hours. When I clean I totally rearrange everything. DJ hates it, but I think he has gotten used to it. It breaks the rut for me. Plus I needed to get a jump on spring cleaning.

Things are back to normal today. DJ went back to work after a week vacation, and we are now back to status quo. Not too much happening really.

Hanging out with Veruca Wednesday evening. I'm looking forward to it as it has been quite a while since we hung out. It will be good to hear what he has been up to.

Sims 2 University

I wasn't addicted enough to Sims, so I went out and bought the newest expansion pack for SIMS 2 called "University".

Now all of my teen sims are turning into young adults and heading off to college. For the past three days that is all I have been doing when I get home. Now before you say, Michael, what does DJ think? Let me tell you. He is on vacation this week. Guess what he has been doing all day? You got it, Sims 2 University.

Now DJ plays it much differently than I do. He actually plays the game. Working on his Sims, building up their goals. I mostly have them make relationships and woo hoo!

Just wanted to let all the readers know what I've been up to.

Blog of the Month

There are several reasons I have chosen Wonderboy for my Blog of the Month for March. One being his honesty and pure posts. He is just Jimmy, nothing sugar coated and nothing contrived, just everyday life from his perspective. I like that.

He also reads my blog and makes comments. Thanks! But I also chose him because I get a lot of hits from his blog. Many of his readers see my link on his site and check me out. Thanks again Jimmy. But more than any other reason is because of the first reason. Pure, honest, & real. I hardly ever miss a day reading his blog. If you haven't read it, you are missing it.