To Date or Not to Date...That is the Question

It's been almost a year since Dan and I broke up, and recently I've been thinking about dating again.  I mean seriously looking for someone to date. More than a one night stand, or a FWB. Someone special.

Well it's not as easy as I first thought it was going to be.  I mean a lot has changed in eleven years, which was the last time I went on a date.  There was the Internet 11 years ago, but online dating was in it's infancy, and many of the guys that were on those sites were not ones you would have wanted to take home to meet your mother...or pets.  However, now the Internet is flooded with gay dating sites and even apps for your phones.  There is gay.com, okcupid.com, grindr, scruff, adam4adam, growlr...and the list goes on and on, even craigslist has an man 4 man option for personal ads.  Some are true dating sites, but most a "hook-up" sites.  What happened to going out to the bars, or other social venues and find a nice guy?

Then there are the "types" of guy your looking for, or attracted to.  Do I want a twink, or bear, or sissy girl, or leather man.  Hell I just want a date!  Then there is the age thing... yes we in the gay community are very selective.  If you are 21 to 30, you don't want to date someone in their 50's.  A guy 50+ is like dating your grandfather! (Yes, I was told that)  If your 35 to 40, you also don't want to date someone over 50.  Why? Because they are wanting someone their age or younger, someone they can relate to.  And most of the guys that are 45-55? Well they are looking for some hot young stud to make them feel younger. So where do I fit in, in all of this?  I don't know, you tell me! I'm not picky about age. Well anywhere from 25 to 55,  I think that is a broad enough age difference. As far as my type? He just needs to be a gay man, that is established, employed and decent. Not so much into "types" either.

I was just hoping to jump back out there in the dating pool and find Mr. Right and settle back down in the daily grind with someone at my side. But do I really? Do I really want that?  Am I ready for another relationship?  Will I ever be ready for another relationship? Today I am not sure. But what I do know is that I do not like dating any more that I did 11 years ago.  It's hard, and painful, and it causes me to think WAY too much.  So what do I do?  I think the answer is plain and simple and it was said to me 11 years ago.  Just stop looking and thinking so much about it. If it happens it happens.

So for now I will continue to check the dating sites I have signed up on, and I will continue to meet and talk to guys when the opportunity arises. But I am not going to dwell on not having a boyfriend.  I am going to date myself, enjoy my friends and family and when it's right....well you know the rest of it.

The Weekend

Everyone's watching, to see what you will do
Everyone's looking at you, oh
Everyone's wondering, will you come out tonight
Everyone's trying to get it right, get it right


The next line of the song is...Everybody's working for the weekend, and isn't that so true?  As I read the status updates today on Facebook of all my friends, they are all about the weekend.  What they did, where they went, who they did it with and it seems as though everyone is having one hell of a good time on the weekends.  Who cares if we are having a heat wave!

My weekends over the past month and a half, have also been great.  One weekend after another I am venturing out into worlds unknown, places I dared not not go before, and meeting people that I wish I would have met sooner.

Friday night my bestie and I went out on the town.  First we hit one of the "hot spots" of the city and saw a drag show.  Now I am normally not one for drag shows.  Never been my forte', however this one was quite well done.  For Cincinnati, that is a good thing as there are not that many good drag shows in town, nor that many good drag queens, but then again, I really haven't been out much in the past few years, but I must say the show I saw Friday night was well worth the time I spent.

We then ventured across the river to one of our regular hangouts and played some darts...yes, I played darts.  It's about as athletic as I can get, but it too was quite fun, not to metion the shot of ' Jager I consumed prior to leaving.  So the night was about over and then we made one last stop...

I am not going to go into specifics, but let me suffice to say that I found out that 'Jager can change the way you see things...and see people!

Saturday came, and again the weekend continued to get even better (without 'Jager this time)
Anyway, I loved the weekend, so it will soon be Monday again.  Let the work week begin and lets work for next weekend!  Hope to see you there!!!

I was Curious... I Tasted it...

I ran across this old ad today and chuckled as I read it, and looked at the photos.  I really think Gay.com should revamp this ad for their site!

I was curious....I tasted it... and don't these two guys look so happy once they tasted it?

Three Strikes and You're...Back at the Plate!

Time stops for no man...or woman. It continues to slip through our hands with no regard to what we want or where we are. Since my last post, over a year ago, so much has transpired. I know that if I were to start posting about the last year, it would take me a year, so I just want to hit on three major life changing events that happened in the last year.

1) In July of 2010, I turned 50. To say that it didn't bother me would be a lie. It did bother me, but I kept up appearances and continued on the same path. I really was not taking care of myself. I had gained a lot of weight, and weighed over 190 pounds. But I remained comfortable and satisfied, or so I thought. The shortly after my 50th birthday, reality started setting in and led to event number two.

 

 

2) In about September or October of 2010, Dan and I ended our ten year relationship. There were a lot of things that brought us to that place, but the bottom line was, it was time. As I said prior I had stopped taking care of myself, and became complacent. Dan became frustrated with my complacency as he was trying to loose weight and take care of himself. Put that on top of my unwarranted jealousy and Dan's desire to have freedom and experience life, we began to move in different directions. In January we finally told our families, and by February Dan met someone and moved out. That didn't last long and he soon moved back in, but only as friends. And now almost a year later we are as best of friends as we have ever been. He goes his way, I go mine and we still share things we schedules permit. I learnt a great deal in this past year, and thanks to my best friend I was able to learn it with him learning the same things, but in a different way. I realize that I no longer need to be dependent on anyone else. Regardless of how much you care about someone, or how much they care about you, we can not put all of our strength, hopes, dreams, goals on them. I am thinking independently again, living somewhat independently again, and finding myself again...and I am doing it with my best friend. Yes, it was hard, after ten years I'd be crazy if it wasn't, but we both are better men for it. Even tho9ugh breaking up was hard to do....the most devastating event that changed my life happened in 2011.

 

 

3) In April of 2011, during a conference call at work, I began to feel somewhat odd. After the meeting I tried to go back to my desk, and never made it. I suffered a mild stroke and was taken to urgent care and then later to Christ Hospital where I stayed for four days. A stroke, at 50 years old!! It was scary, debilitating, frightening, and an emotional wake up call. I soon was able to come back, and there are almost no residual effects from the stroke, but it made me realize many things. I look at each day with different eyes, as well as those around me that I love and cherish.

 

 

Yes, time does move quickly, and things can change in a moment. But even though I suffered three strikes in the past year, I am not out! I am back at the plate, better than ever and ready to hit a home run!!

I Am Back!

I have been gone awhile, yes. Facebook, Twitter and life pulled me away, but I am back. So much has happened since my last posting but I will fill you in, that is if you care to know.
What brings me back you say? Well I read my entire blog yesterday...all the way back to 2004! And I thought what a shame to just let it die. I mean there is a lot of life in those postings! So I am back and hopefully better than ever! So look for my posts. Let me know your glad I returned. I will reply to you all!